


Red Red Wine

by CasualWinchester



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Adoption, Angels, Angry Sex, Character Death, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time kind of, Future Fic, Help of the angels, Idiots in Love, Immortality, M/M, Pregnancy, Protective Magnus, Reunion Sex, Sad Magnus, Vampire war, War Baby, Weddings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:05:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualWinchester/pseuds/CasualWinchester
Summary: 70 years after Magnus loses Alec there is a war going on between the Vampires and the rest of the Shadow world. Still suffering from the loss of his darling Alexander, Magnus joins the heads of the remaining Council to think of ways to try and win this slowly losing war. No one was expecting the help of the angels of all people.





	1. Thinking out loud.

**Author's Note:**

> I named this chapter after the Ed Sheeran song because I believe that this song relates very well to Magnus and Alec's relationship.

 

_**Chapter One: Thinking out loud.** _

_**Magnus:** _

_The to hot feeling of slowly running out of magic is starting to wear me down. I know that any minute now I'm going to run out and collapse. I don't care though because I will keep fighting until the very very last second. Tears are pouring down my face, washing away the already smudged black makeup. Nothing, and I mean nothing ever could have prepared me for this day._

_The day my beautiful Alexander would die._

_It all happened so quickly. I was helping him out of his bed whilst Max made him his breakfast. He was shaking slightly as I held him so I knew something was wrong all along. He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. His eyes had dulled over the years. In the past Twenty years, ever since he turned fifty-five, that's when he started to feel loss. It had all started when his parents died days before his birthday. Then Simon went only two years later. It didn't really get to him until Isabelle and Rafael died twelve years ago in an accident with a couple of demons that were not supposed to be there. All of those deaths dulled his eyes but the thing that took away the light completely was the death of Jace. The loss of his Parabatia only 4 months ago was what really done it then. The strain of losing his Parabatai made him sick, no one knows what it is but it has slowly been hurting him for months._

_Today just seemed to be the ending point. Only seconds after he smiled at me he lent of to whisper, "I love you, remember that."  After that he collapsed in my arms._

_He hasn't woken up since._

_"Please don't leave me, my darling." I sob into his arm as I hide my face there. I just couldn't handle loosing him. He is unlike anyone I have ever loved then lost. Alexander is everything to me, everything and more. He was the only person in the world that I have loved, that I have considered building a life with. I never wanted anything such as family when I was with anyone else. Yet here I am, a father to two. One still living._

_"Papa, please... you are making this worse on you." Max pleads as he clings to my waist. He may be frozen at seventeen but Max still looks like my little baby. I lift my head slightly to see that his glamour has fallen since finding Alec and I like this. His blue skin makes his green eyes stand out. The same green eyes that are puffy and red._

_"I can't my blueberry... I can't let him go!" I say but it sound so broken in places. Just thinking on giving up on Alexander when I can keep him alive for just that little bit longer... I would never forgive myself for it._

_"Magnus, honey. Maxy is right... you need to let him go sugar."  I hear Catarina say from my other side. Max must have called her._

_"No...no please! Cat you have to help me! Please I can't lose him, I just can't." I sob. I feel my magic stutter around me so I push harder. I notice movement on the other side of Alec's body. Looking up I see a small sad looking older woman. Clary. She is one of the last of our little group alive so of course she would be here for this._

_"Mag's... you've known that this was going to happen. You have known for years. There is nothing you can do so you just have to let go honey." Catarina places her hands on mine. "All you are doing is preventing Alec from moving on."  Catarina tries to overpower my hands with her own magic. Her words process with me and I know she is right._

_"I can't... if I let him go that means I'm giving up." I whisper. I let my magic drop slightly._

_"Papa. Dad knew that this was happening... he would want you to let him go, he knows how much you love him and he loves you to." Max holds me tighter and right now he seems to be the only anchor I have keeping me in this world._

_"Magnus you know Max is right."  Clary reaches over and touches my hand with her small wrinkled one. "You both love each other and you have so many memories of him to make sure he keeps on living." She stares right into my eyes and all I can see is the small lost looking girl who came to me all those years ago, trying to get her memories back. The same day I met the love of my life._

_"Please Papa... Dad is only going to keep hurting the longer you try to keep him here." Max is crying quietly now and pulling on me to try and get me to step back from Alec._

_"It's time Magnus. Your magic will keep him alive enough for you to say goodbye." Catarina closes a hand over mine forcing my magic to stop._

_Alec gives a deep breath before I am pulling him and Max into my arms._

_"My darling, darling Alexander... I love you more than I have loved any love in my life. You have given me everything I didn't know I wanted. A life, love, something to wake up for, friends from the most unlikely places, and family. Never ever did I think I would have a family with anyone... didn't think I was worth it, but then you came in and helped give me my two beautiful boys." I move slightly so I could place a hand on his chest. I then give Max a little squeeze that tells him he is good to go._

_"Papa... I can't, I don't know what to say to him!"Max huddles closer into the warmth of us. "He is my Dad, I don't know how to say goodbye to him." He clings to Alec as much as he could._

_"I know my baby, I don't know how to say goodbye to him either... just let him know that you love him. That way he can go in peace." I whisper into my baby's hair._

_"I love you daddy, I don't want you to go but I know you need to... but I just need you to know that Papa and I love you and that you don't need to try and stay here anymore, don't hurt yourself for us, it's okay." Max breaks down at the end._

_As much as I know I need to be there for Max, I need to finish, I need to let Alec know that it's okay to go because I can feel his heartbeat stuttering and slowing scarily slow. "Go my darling. I love you so much but you know that and are probably sick of me saying so...it's okay for you to let go now....you-"_

_I cut myself off when I feel the heart underneath my palm go still._

_He was gone._


	2. Turning Page

 

**Chapter Two- Turning Page**

**Magnus:**

***72 Years Later***

These council meetings are very rarely interesting. They never have been and I don't think they ever will be. One of the only reasons I go now is because I am still the High Warlock so I have to be and I like to come to show my support for Max. 

He is the new and first ever Downworlder Inquisitor. And it may be biased because he is my son, but out of the five hundred years that I have been around, he has been the best Inquisitor there has been. 

If Alec were here, he would be so proud of our little boy.

I shake that thought to the side because I know it's only going to do more harm than good. I can't think about Alexander without becoming very unlike myself and depressed. Even now when he died over seventy years ago. The truth is, I will never love again like I loved Alexander. I thought I loved before him but I really didn't. Everyone before him was nothing compared to what I have...  _had_ with him. Most of them were just mistakes,  _*cough cough*_ Camille. 

Today's meeting is just like all the others recently. What to do about the famous Blood War. Everything that the Clave has come up with so far to try and beat these Vampires has failed. The vamps don't care about what they need to do to win. So cue the mindless killing of Mundanes to build up their army. Half the time it just leaves the Mundane's dead under ground, it's clear that some people are just not made for this sort of life. 

"Sir, if we continue down the path we are on then more and more of us are just going to die. More Warlocks have died in the past week than there has been in the past year. There's not many of us left." Gilderoy Glory yells out from somewhere in the crowd. Gilderoy is a squat little warlock that has no ears but still has the ability to hear. 

I look back up from Gilderoy to Max. He looks a little saddened by the news of the Warlocks, considering he is one himself this must be a little hard for him. I know it is for me. 

"Gil, I don't know what to tell you man." Max looks exhausted. He has been using sleeping spells to give him a quick jolt of energy, for the past week. I try to get him to sleep but the threat of the war, the anniversary of his father's death coming up, and the pressure of being the Inquisitor during a war... it's all taking it's toll on him. I am worried but there's not much I can do anymore. 

He hardly listens to me much anymore. It's been like this ever since Alec left us. Part of it was my own fault. 

After attending the funeral for Alec, I couldn't stand living in Brooklyn or New York any longer. It had too many painfully memories from all the time we spent together. So after writing a quick fire message to Max. I was gone. 

I left for London for forty-seven years. I spoke to Max via fire message almost everyday and saw him a couple times when he came over for Institute business.  He understood that I needed the time away to get myself in order. I had only planned to stay a couple of days but then it turns out I was needed in London and I enjoyed the distraction as it stopped me from being stupid. So I asked Catarina to take over for me for a while and I stayed.

After a while our messages became a lot less frequent and I started living my life in London. I threw myself back into working by day and partying by night, my walls around my heart thrown back up, all of them covered in brightly framed pictures of Alec.

I knew Alec would be pissed if he knew what had happened between Max and I but the thought of going home, spending time in a place where I had spent some of the best moments of my life in. It would be like rubbing salt into the wound.

I returned though when things first started acting up with the vampires. I took back my role as High Warlock from Catarina. Some people were happy to see me and other happy to meet me,  but Max was quite about the whole thing. I never had the chance to speak to him when I first got here and now I am too afraid to bring it up. I don't to highlight any of the reasons why I left because I know that when I did leave, I broke his heart.

"You could start by saying you won't send in anymore warlocks? If you do then we will  _all die!"_ Gilderoy stands up, flailing his hands around. "Send more Shadowhunters. It's easier to replace them than it is to replace us." 

"That's enough." I say before Max could even blink. He may not see me as a father any more but I still see him as my little boy. "No one is more important than the other. Each of us is loosing someone to this war, because that is what happens in war. It's something we have to face because there is no stopping it until this war is over." I call down to him. He blinks up at me. He opens his mouth to speak but seems to think better of it when I drop the glamour on my eyes. 

I think I have finally gotten through to them when a more daring warlock speaks up. "You are only saying that because you get off on watching Shadowhunters die... is that not why you kept the Lightwood boy around?" 

The words hit home and suddenly I am frozen on the spot, staring down at the young looking warlock, with skin as orange as... an orange. 

To my surprise there are several yells coming from all sorts of people in the courtroom. Some vampires, some werewolves. 

A feeling that can only be described as being drowned in ice water slowly creeps up my body and I find myself shrinking back into my chair. Nothing in the room registers anymore apart from someone yelling. I numbly notice that the nosy warlock is been escorted from the room. 

_"That's it for now, go back to your stations and we will report back here tomorrow."_

The words float about in my mind but I can't seem to focus on them. I know enough that it it means I can go. I can get out of this stuffy room that has an undertone of anger and death to it. 

I am then aware of someone shaking my shoulder. I can't look at them but by just the touch, I know it's Max. He has the firm hand of someone who knows how to use a bow and arrow. He's saying something to me but I can't tell what it is. 

_"Let me look at him... If you want you can head along to the Silent City, I can bring Magnus with me after."_

Catarina comes into view, she has several tears building in her eyes as she looks at me. Max pats her shoulder before walking off without even so much as a goodbye to me. 

"Oh, honey. Come with me, let's get you sorted out." Catarina strokes a hand down my face. There was nothing but pity and love in her eyes for me and if it was any other time I would be so thankful to still have someone like her in my life when almost every single other one of my friends and lovers are gone. That and I think I am beginning to lose my boy. Everything was going to crap and I didn't know what to do with myself. 

"No, take me, take me to him Cat, I need him." I grip onto her shirt tightly as if it was stopping me from breaking down on the floor. 

Sometimes I just don't know how I am going to live the rest of my life when over seventy years is not enough for me to get over Alexander's death. I fully believe that I won't be getting over Alec's death. If it wasn't for Catarina and the hope that Max will someday forgive me, I don't think I would still be here. I would've died right alongside Alec. 

Every time I even think of him it feels like my soul is trying to claw its way out of my chest, like it can't deal with the idea of being anywhere but with Alexander. 

"Magnus, you don't need that. You are only going to make it worse on you." Catarina pulls me close to stroke my hair. 

"I need him Cat, I really do... I can't do this anymore, I just need him!" I sob into her shoulder. If this is how bad I get on just a normal day then I don't know how I am going to handle tomorrow, since it's the anniversary of his death. "I love him so much Cat!" 

"I know sugar, I know you do and he loved you too, remember? It took him a while to realize but he did." Her comment makes me laugh slightly as I remember my young, awkward and flustered Shadowhunter, the one I first fell for. 

"God I miss him, I miss him and I miss Rafael." I say softly, calming down slightly in her arms. "I miss Max. I just miss our family." I say 

"You still have Max, no matter what may be going on with you. Don't ever think you will lose him." Catarina kisses my head softly. "You should've seen the way he reacted when that warlock said that about you, after she was gone he was over here in a second." Cat hugs me closer. 

"I want to be there for him but how can I help him when I can't even help myself? I can't do anything without Alexander. I have no idea how I did anything before." I say. I then think back to all the heartbreak I had before, such as Camille. But nothing I could think of matches what is happening to me now. 

"You never loved before Alec, you may have thought you were and sure maybe those feelings were strong, but nothing made you feel how you felt with him, and that's a good thing honey, you need to keep that love alive for Alec. It makes you who you are." Cat pulls me back so she can look in my eyes. "Be strong for him, and Rafael, and Max. They all need you to be strong. 

I know she's right. I need to be strong and try to be there for my family when I know they would be there for me. It's just going to be hard to fix myself.

To fix the broken man that was left behind by Alexanders death. 


	3. Eternal Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea about Christianity or the beings that come from it so sorry if I get something wrong in this with the angels. Really I just got my information from Google and Supernatural.

 

**Eternal Flame.**

**Alec:**

My whole body seems to be shaking as it tries to accommodate to the large stones and twigs that rest on my back. I try to open my eyes to see where the hell I was but as soon as they open, I am snapping them shut again due to the painfully bright light that shines down on me. It is nothing like the almost artificial, always warm sun that I have been used to for the past seventy years up in the above. 

This sun feels too real. The rays not as warm as they would usually feel and it fails to chase away the cold wind that seeps through my skin. The shaking on my body stops for a moment and I am sure that I can hear someone say my name, well my name to certain people, "Dad? C'mon wake up!" The shaking starts again and I realize that it is someone shaking me awake, not my actual body shaking. 

I roll my head to the side so I am safe to open my eyes, making sure they are away from the sun. Once I deem the position safe enough I open my eyes. I find that the person shaking me is Rafael. He is covered in mud, grass, and blood. It's not a lot of blood so I am not worried too much about him being badly hurt. I know he knows how to take care of himself and if he really was hurt, he would not be sitting so calmly. 

"Raf? What is going on? And why are you so dirty, I didn't even know you could get dirty in the above." I push myself into a sitting position. From this angle, I can see that there are the littered bodies (both awake and unconscious) of our friends and families. Isabelle and Jace were lying not far besides me. Jace was currently trying to get Isabelle to wake up. Everyone is caked in dirt and grass just like Max so I'm guessing I am no better. 

"I'm fine, just a couple of scrapes. I have been through worse." Max flaps a hand around in a way that he got from Magnus, he had been doing it ever since he was old enough to start talking to us properly. "And the thing is Dad...we don't think we are even  _in_ The Above." Max looks around the place we landed in. I follow his gaze to see that we have all landed in a large field. On one side of the field, all I can see is, even more, farms and hills. On the other side, very far in the distance, I can see buildings and walls. Is that Alicante? I don't remember it being so large the last time I was here. 

Wait? How could I even be in Alicante? I'm supposed to be dead, I remember dying. The whole process has been burned into my mind forever. I could never forget the sounds of my little boy and the love of my life crying over my body. 

"What in the hell is happening?" The words come out of my mouth before I could stop them. 

"Well, Alexander Lightwood. We're glad you asked." A voice says and it appears to come from nowhere in particular. It echo's around the small group and it makes those who were still passed out, sit bolt upright as if they were being held up by strings. 

A small flash of white light appears to the side of me. I turn my head to see a man with white blonde hair and skin so pale it looked like snow. He stands wearing a black suit that contrasts with his skin in a way that makes him look like a panda or something. I look over to Rafael to see he looks just as stunned as I feel. I see that wherever we have arrived still kept us all young like what happens in the above.

"My name is Samandriel. I am an angel of god and I was sent here to explain what has happened to you." Samandriel looks around the field. He doesn't look like any of the angels I have seen. Then again most of them have been large angels whilst this one looks to not be that important. He doesn't hold the smug look that the bigger angels wear. 

No one in the group says anything so Samandriel carry's on. "You have all been chosen to return to earth and help win the war that has plagued the sacred ground of Nephilim and that of the Mundane world."

"What!" Bursts out of Isabelle's mouth. She was sitting beside Meliorn and Simon now. Raphael was not far behind. 

"The angels have agreed that action needs to be taken now before too much damage is caused by the Night Children. They have been at war with the Shadow World for years and it is time to stop it." Samandriel looks directly at Isabelle as he speaks and I can tell it is making her slightly uncomfortable. "You were all chosen because you have all proven to be suitable fighters for the cause." 

"Why would you chose to bring me back?" I turn to see that it was Raphael who was speaking. "I am one of the Night Children." He looks confused. 

"If you were a Child of The Night then tell me why you have not burnt under the sun's rays?" Asks Samandriel with a slight smirk on his face. 

Raphael looks around as if he didn't think about that before. Then he quickly turns his face towards the sun and closes his eyes. Simon moves slightly from Isabelle as if he was going to go over to Raphael but decides not too. Raphael in the meantime was smiling slightly as he felt the heat of the sun on his face for the first time in a long time. 

I notice Simon smiling for him. They were really too much sometimes. Ever since I joined them in the above I have thought the same thing, they are the best couple. It was a surprise though when I joined and I found that Isabelle and Simon had decided to move onto other people, her going straight to Meliorn and Simon going to Raphael. But I don't see how it could have ever been different. 

"When choosing you we decided that you would be best used as a Nephilim. More of them are needed in this war so we switched your Demon blood to that of the Angel." Raphael finally turns away from the sun so he could fall back down next to Simon. 

"How are we supposed to explain this to the people living now," Jace calls out. "They are hardly going to believe that we just all happened to come back when we are in the middle of a war.

"The Wayland boy is right." A British voice adds to the conversation. I see that it is a man who I only recognize from pictures that I had seen over the years. "But lucky for us, I am an old Warlock who has some old friends who know trust me."

"How do you know if they are even alive." Jace snaps back at Ragnor Fell and I see that there is some sort of annoyance between the two of them. I wonder what happened for them to look at each other like that.

Ragnor is about to snap back at Jace when he is then cut off by Samandriel holding up a hand to stop him. "Enough of this for now. You have a job to do." Samandriel then starts to place a hand of each of our heads. Everyone bar Ragnor. As he does this I realize that there are some people here that I don't know.

"We are gifting you all with the gift of immortality and the protection of the ones you hold closest to you." Samandriel explained as he touched a hand to Clary's head. "As we have chosen you, it was also decided that you are now named the protectors of this earth. With this immortality, you will help when needed." He finishes off what he was doing before coming back to stand in front of us all.

"This makes no sense..." Jace shakes his head.

"I find that it makes perfect sense Mr. Herondale" Samandriel smiles. "Good luck." He is then gone.

Several people jump up, yelling for him to come back and tell us what to do. But I stay on the ground, sitting firmly beside Rafael who seem's lost in his own head. I can't come up with what he is thinking. Probably just the same as the rest of us, how the hell is we going to do this.

"Okay Ragnor, I guess your old friends are going to have to do." Jace sighs. "Where the hell are we going to find them." Ragnor is simply looking at his nails in boredom.

"I'm not 100% sure that they can be found." He replies.

"What!" Isabelle is up on her feet in seconds. "You just said that you had very old friends?" She demands, looking angrier than I have ever seen her look before.

"Yes, I know that but what I don't know is how long it has been since I died. So many years could have passed since then and in those years any one of those friends could have died." Ragnor looks a little flustered at the constant questioning.

What he is saying is right. He had been dead over fifty years when I died and god knows how long it has been since then. Anything could have happened to his friends...

Oh, god!

I suddenly remember that one of those friends he is referring to must be Magnus and most likely Catarina. I am on my feet in seconds, the sudden need to get to Alicante takes over my whole body and I am about to run when Rafael grabs onto my arm and pulls me back.

"Dad? Where are you going... we don't know what is happening yet so we can't leave." Rafael starts trying to drag me back to him and the group but I fight back. I almost break through but then someone is grabbing and pulling me back. I know it's Jace due to muscle memory.

"Jace, we need to go! Magnus could still be alive...and Max and Madzie!" I suddenly clear my head enough that the memory of Max and Madzie being immortal warlocks comes back into my mind.

"Alec, we can't go to Magnus just now-"

"No. That's exactly who we need to go too, or well we need to get him here." Ragnor walks over to us, through the maze of people I know and complete strangers. "Why do you care so much for Magnus?" Ragnor asks as he pulls me from Jace.

"He is my fiancee," I tell Ragnor because I know out of everyone here, he is going to care about Magnus just as much as me.

"And my Papa," Rafael add's in.

"Magnus? A father?" Ragnor looked shocked.

"Yup, a father of three," I say.

"Never would I have imagined the day or the person who could tie Magnus down like that." Ragnor laughs lightly then gesture with his arm to everyone. "Come, Alicante awaits." He then grabs onto my arm. "So tell me Shadowhunter, how you managed to get Magnus to be a father of all things..."

With a laugh, I go into the tale of how Magnus and I managed to get our three children.  


	4. It's all coming back to me now.

**It's all coming back to me now.**

**Magnus:**

It hardly seems like any time at all before we are being called back from the Silent City. I didn't get to spend as much time mourning the loss of my beautiful Alec as I would like. I still needed that time, I didn't need the added pressure of this meeting about new information about the Vampires. I had every other day to deal with things like this. I didn't want to be dealing with it on the anniversary of my fiancée's death.

Max also didn't need this. It was going to be worse for him as he was needed more than me. He was more important so he needs to be stronger and more alert to the war efforts and everything surrounding it.

"Magnus, sugar. If you don't want to go then I can take your place?" Catarina suggests as she straightens out my black blazer. I decided that if I couldn't visit Alec on the anniversary of his death then I would at least still wear something appropriate for my mourning. Maybe it will make the others feel guilty for making me come back when I should really be spending time with my family.

"No." I say because I have already spoken myself out of not going. And I know that this is something I need to do. "If Max can go then I can go." I say to her and I try to sound confident but all it does is make it sound like I am trying to convince myself that this was right.

"Honey, you know Max would understand if I took your place. He knows how hard you take things this time of year." Catarina looks sad. I know it's because she hates seeing me sad and she always had. I remember Ragnor and I trying to stop her from going out and killing Camille after she found out what she had done to me. She is like the big sister I never had and I will never be able to show her how grateful I was to her.

"Alexander wouldn't want me to be like this." I say with a shaky voice. I turn away from the mirror I was in front of so I could look at her. "I need to be strong for my son even if he doesn't need it anymore." I say because I know that it is true. Max is old enough now that he doesn't need his father. He has done so well on his own when I could barely live without Alec. It's clear that he is done with me.

"Don't say that!" Catarina slaps my arm in anger. "That is not true and you know it." Her eyes are blazing in anger but it doesn't bother me because I know she is only trying to be nice.

I wish she would stop though. It is hard enough to face this without her trying to change my mind. I have faced the fact the my little blueberry doesn't need me, he outgrew me a very long time ago and it's time that I moved on and let him live his live. He is doing a wonderful job of it and I wouldn't want to mess that up.

"We should go." I say before she could continue with the subject and make me hurt more than I already do. " They sounded pretty serious in the message they sent us and Max is already down there. We should see what is going on." I hang my head slightly as I move to the door of my room. Usually I would just portal myself downstairs but I am already feeling drained with the weight of loosing not only Alec but Max too. I don't need to add being drained from magic to the list.

It also gives me time alone with my thoughts for just that little amount of time. Maybe after we win or lose this war it will become clear to me what's next for my life. It could be that this is it for me. I have done everything that was lined up for me and more. I never thought I would have had children so that was just a bonus. Now they have both grown up and lived their lives. One shorter than usual and one longer than usual. Alexander is gone so he doesn't need me. Catarina has her life, her friends and loved ones. We only really see each other during business for the Clave so I doubt me dying would make a difference on her life. Sure those like Max and Catarina would be sad if I died but they would get over it just like I used to get over it.

The whole way down, I hardly notice that Catarina was speaking to me. She was talking about one of her many stories of the patients she has tended too in the hospital. She laughs a lot at the story and I pretend to smile but I hardly even notice what she is talking about. I was too lost in my own thoughts to pay attention.

I don't really come out of my thoughts until we make it to the Council room. It only happens because I notice that the place is a lot more busier than usual.

Normally it would be very ordered but this time there are papers everywhere and people scattered all around the room talking and yelling to other members of the Council. They all looked shocked and some are even crying at something unknown to Catarina and I.  
  
I tap the shoulder of an unfamiliar werewolf. He stops and turns to look at me with wide eyes. "Care to tell us what is going on here?" I ask with a followed up sweeping gesture around the room. He does a double take at me as if he was shocked that I would even ask such a question.

"Where have you been?" he asks in an unusually deep voice. "The angels have been active in the war. They sent us some of their best warriors to help us win and restore the Shadow World." The man almost cheers before running off to shove some papers into the arms of another werewolf.

"The angels? They never help with anything." Catarina states, both of her eyebrows lower as her eyes scrunch up in something that looks close to concentration. "Never have I heard of them helping us in all the time that I have been alive."

"My only experience is that they need something from us first. I don't remember the council getting involved with angels and I am sure Max would have told us if they were." I say. I shake my head because I doubt something this big would have been discussed with all members of the council but by the looks of it, based on the reactions given by everyone here. No one knew that this was happening.

"I agree. I might be done by some desperate Shadowhunter or something-" Catarina stops mid sentence by the sight of something on the other side of the room.

I have never seen her look so shocked at anything in my life so I know it must be something bad. I look at her to see where her eyes are going and by doing that I am able to follow her eye line to narrow down what she is looking at.

What I see is something that shocks me deep down to my very core. It can't be right. I know that what I am seeing isn't real and I know that because they both should be dead. They were also a lot older the last time I saw them, now they look like they could be in their early twenties. Something they haven't been for a very long time.

Isabelle and Jace are standing talking to a small squat Shadowhunter who seems to be questioning them. He doesn't look worried by them or confused at to why they are there. He looks happy and surprised, he also looks like he is talking to one of the best things that has ever happened to him. His eyes are wide and from what I can see, they look red and puffy like he had been crying before. The smile on his face is so wide that I fear that he might hurt himself.

"What in the hell is going on....that's Jace and Izzy?" I breath out. Unable to grasp what I am looking at, my words begin to fail me.

"I can see that. That must be what the wolf meant." Catarina looks around at me and I am surprised to see that her eyes are filled with tears. I can't tell if she has been crying on not due to the fact she is wearing a hat that has a netted mesh coming out of it that covered half of her face. She also jumped onto the bandwagon when it came to dressing for mourning. "Mag's do you understand what this could mean?" She asks and her face splits into the biggest grin I had ever seen on her face.

"No?" I say in a questioning way. The confusion and sadness from the past couple of days and minutes are catching up to me and I am starting to feel very sluggish and tired. All my emotions are rubbed raw.

"If Jace and Isabelle are here then someone else must be here too..." She trails off, waiting for me to catch on to what she is saying. Her hands come up to grasp my face and her eyes beg for me to hurry up and understand.

At first I don't get what she is getting at but then it hits me with the force of a speeding train. Alexander.

"Oh my god!" I gasp out. Tears are building in my eyes straight away. "Oh my sweet Alexander... do you think he could be here?" I almost beg Catarina. Even though I knew she was thinking the same thing I just need her to agree with me on this.

"I so sweetheart. I really do." She is crying for real now but the tears are cancelled out by the grin on her face.

"I need to find him... I need to find him now Catarina!" I pull away from her so quickly that I knock someone else over but I don't care. I don't care about anything but Alexander.

I faintly hear Catarina cry out at the person who I knocked over but I don't care to look back and see who it is. I am pushing my way through the crowds of people. Noting that some of them look familiar but I'm not concentrating enough to see who they are. There would be time for that later.

Suddenly with a violent shove of two Faeries I see him. I really see him.

He looks like my Alexander. Happy and healthy and young again. He is smiling and laughing and he just looks so beautiful that it makes my legs weak. I can no longer breath and my whole body has gone cold enough for Goosebumps to grow on my arms. Whatever is left of my makeup must be gone now with all the crying I have been doing but I can't find it within myself to care at all.

A sudden laugh from the person talking to Alec makes me look at them. It was then that my legs gave out under me. Next to Alec was Max and Rafael. My whole family is here and all of them are healthy and alive.

The motion of me falling makes Max flick his eyes over to me. It takes him a moment to realize who I was before he is grinning and letting go of a couple of tears of his own. His smile widens before murmuring something to Rafael. They both begin to pull away from their father who looks really confused.

Not one to miss out on the details, Alec let's his eyes wander to where Max's were before and that was when our eyes met.

That was it for me. That is when I fully broke down without caring what anyone else thought. Just to see Alec alive and to see the light in his eyes as they met mine.

Only seconds later I have moved and I am in his arms. Holding on tightly as if I was too afraid to ever let him go again. I press my face into his neck, breathing him in and feeling the familiar warmth from his body. I feel his warmth soak into me and it feels like for the first time in over seventy years I am warm.

"Magnus..." I feel Alec's breath whisper over my ear and I feel myself cry a little more and hold onto him just that little bit tighter.

"You're here!" I sob into the material of his shirt. "I love you, I love you so much please, please never leave me again." I start to sound a little desperate as I cling to him and shake slightly. "I missed you..."

"I'm here and I won't. I will never leave you again Mag's okay. I love you more than anything in the world." Alec holds me to him with just the same amount of force as I hold him.

"It's been so long... so long without you. I couldn't take it! I missed you every single day for over seventy years." I say and suddenly he is pulling back and I am able to look at that beautiful face. My hands come up to cup his cheeks, to feel him under my hands and to make sure that this isn't some dream.

"Seventy years?" He asks, his eyes wide.

"You have been dead seventy-two years today." I tell him. "It was torture." I add.

"Baby, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm surprised you still love me after all that time." He says and I can't handle him thinking that I could just get over him like that.   
"Never. I mean it Alexander. You are the only person I am ever going to love for the rest of my life. If you die again then I am going right with you... no matter what anyone says. No one will be able to stop me." I say. My eyes boring into his to let him know that I meant that he wouldn't be the one to stop me.

"Well that won't be happening anytime soon, considering as a gift for helping in the war the angels gave us all protection for our families and for us... immortality." He leans his forehead on mine softly and tangles his hand in the hair at the bottom of my neck.

"Wait... you are immortal?" I ask. Hardly daring to believe it to be true.

"Yes, we all are... well for Ragnor and Raphael it won't be that big of a deal." I gasp softly when he mentions that two of my closest and oldest friends are also back. "But now you are stuck with me for all of time, me and Rafe."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I say before doing something I haven't done for close to ninety years. Alec wouldn't let me do it after he got to a certain age. Didn't believe I wold want him that way and it killed me so much because I never thought I would get to do it again.

I kiss him right then and there in front of everyone. It takes me right back to our first kiss all those years ago. Right in the middle of Alec's almost wedding. Never would I have thought that that kiss would lead us to where we are now. A hundred years later, both of us immortal, engaged, and with two sons.

Even though the path here wasn't easy. I wouldn't have changed it for the world.


	5. To hold you like this.

**To hold you like this.**

**Alec:**

To have Magnus in my arms again gives me something that I never knew I was missing. I didn't realize how much I needed him when I was in the above. Sure I knew I needed him but I didn't know how badly until I had him in my arms. I felt how much he missed me and how badly he needed me right then in that moment when he first ran into my arms. I had never felt anything like it.

The love that filled me when I found out that even though I had been dead for seven whole decades, he had still loved me every single moment of it. I just don't think I could come up with words to describe how I feel right now. It's just all too much and all I want is to spend every second of this with Magnus and no one else. But I know that I will have no such luck.

"Mr Lightwood and Mr Bane. I am sorry to break this up but Lightwood needs to join the others." A gruff no nonsense voice comes from our left. Magnus breaks away from my lips with a jolt. He turns to the man and I can see a fire in his eyes.

"He doesn't have to go anywhere." Magnus snaps at him and he looks like if he could kill the man with his stare then the man would be dead ten times over. I can tell though that he doesn't want to let me go. The subtle way he fists his hand in my shirt tells me that much about him.

"I'm sorry but he does until we question him then he is going to have to stay on lock down in a secured room. You will see him in a couple of days." The man looks like he couldn't be bothered dealing with this any longer. To my shock the man suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me away from Magnus. The look on Magnus's face looks something close to heart break.

"No. no, no! you can't take him away! not now... I just got him back!" Magnus tries to walk forwards but he is grabbed by two other members of the Council. I begin to struggle because I don't want to see that look on Magnus's face ever again. The look of total heartbreak crushes my heart in ways that I never thought it could be crushed.

Moments later my sight of Magnus is gone but I can still hear his cries to be let go of. I fight a little bit harder to get back to him because I know that I am not going to last the next couple of days without him, not when I just found him again.

A hand on my shoulder suddenly makes the man dragging me stop. Looking up I can see a very angry looking Max. He isn't staring at me, he is looking at the man behind him.

"Let go of my father." Max orders and the man steps back. He looks a little worried and I can suddenly see why. Max's hands are glowing a faint blue and his eyes flash a red colour. "If he want's my Papa to go with him then he gets to go with him. Am I clear?" Max asks in a warning tone.

"Yes Sir Inquisitor." The gruff man backs off then and I only have a second to feel grateful to Max before my arms are full of Magnus again, clinging to me like I was his lifeline.

"I was getting ready to kill him." Magnus declares before giving me a quick kiss. "I will kill anyone who tries to take you away." He adds before giving me another kiss.

"Okaaay..." Max looks very awkward. "Papa, Dad really needs to go with the others but you can go with him. They are all in the guest chambers around the corner beside the weapons shop." He tells us. "They were taken there just before your little reunion. Rafael will be there and he is desperate to see you Papa."

I feel Magnus freeze. "Oh, my little boy. I need to see him... can we go Alexander please?" Magnus looks up at me with wide eyes and I know I couldn't deny him anything when he looks at me like that.

"Let's go. I want to see you at some point Maxy, I didn't really get to see you and there's some people that came back with us that I think you should meet." I say to Max who full on grins before cuddling into Magnus and I. I lift my arms so he could worm his way in between Magnus and I.

I just needed to feel the both of them there so I know that this is real and that I have my family, minus Rafael with me.

"I would love that Dad. Maybe we could all go somewhere together? Like we used to do in the summers." He suggests from where he is crushed against my chest.

"I would love that. Wouldn't you Magnus?" I ask because I know the answer would be yes.

But to my surprise Magnus freezes and pulls away from the hug.

"I'll see you outside." He mumbles before fleeing out of the room. I had never seen him look like that before. He looked terrified of something but I have no clue what could be scary about going on a holiday with me and our children. I look down at Max for an answer but he only looks sad.

"I'll explain everything later, but Papa and I don't really see much of each other." Max says sadly and by the looks of it, it looks like the weight on the world is suddenly being rested on his shoulders. "It all happened after you died... he ran off for several decades and only spoke to me every so often. But he came back when the war started and I thought it would all be okay but... it just wasn't the same with us anymore."

Max looks like he could cry and it breaks my heart to see my child in such pain.

"Oh, Max. It's going to be okay." I say before pulling him against me again. He may be an adult but he is still smaller than me and he still needs his fathers from time to time. God I wonder what happened to Magnus to make this happen. "I'll talking to him my little blueberry." I say and I feel Max laugh.

"No one has called me that in years, I missed it." He says and I feel another bit of my heart crumble. I remember the times when almost everybody called Max blueberry. I remember how much it frustrated him and how much he hated it. But now that no one calls him it, he begins to really crave it.

"Well blueberry you better get used to it because I'm back now and so is Aunty Izzy. She missed you." I say and I see Max's face lighten up at the mention of Isabelle. They both adored each other and I remember the day he found out that both her and his brother died. I didn't think he would ever be the same.

"I will see her later on. I will come by once everything is done here. You go deal with Papa." Max pulls away from me and straightens himself up. "Love you dad."

"Love you too blueberry." I say before I watch him walk off to talk to some official looking people over in the corner of the room.

After that I quickly make my way out of the room to find wherever Magnus went running off to.

It wasn't hard to find him. He was standing outside the main doors looking like some man who was on the verge of panicking.

"You and I have some things to talk about." I say as a way of letting him know I was there. He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off with a small kiss to his head. "But we can focus on all of that later okay? for now I just want to spend time with you." I say softly and I can see him relax slightly.

"I love you." He announces and it feels like he is saying it for the first time. It makes me smile.

"I love you more." I say before taking his hand. "let's go see our son shall we?" I suggest and his eyes brighten at the idea. He then tugs me along with him to where the others would be staying until this all gets sorted out. We make small talk and whisper sweet nothings to each other the whole way there and it honestly doesn't feel like we spent any time apart

"I don't know who else is even here apart from Rafael and some others." Magnus comments as I hold the door open for him to go in.

I follow in close behind, my hand still in his. "Well it's just our little group. Max came back, along with Maia and Jordan. Jonathan came back but not as Sebastian so he now has the chance to live his life. Raphael and Ragnor are here too. But there is another two people that only Ragnor and Raphael know, they won't speak to anyone else really and we don't know their names." I tell him.

"How strange. I might be able to tell you who they are if I get the chance to see them." Magnus leans into me slightly as we near a room that has the sound of voices coming out of it. "Is there anything that has changed that I should be aware of?" He asks me nervously.

"Well, Isabelle and Simon are no longer together. Isabelle moved back to Meliorn, Oh! he is also here. And surprisingly Simon is now in a very sweet relationship with Raphael...Sr." I add at the end. I know I am going to have to be careful when talking about the Max's and Raphael's because there is two of them. "Also the angels changed Raphael from a Vampire to a Shadowhunter."

Magnus looks startled by that more than the fact that Simon and Raphael are dating.

"Well it seems I missed out on a lot. Thank you darling for filling me in." Magnus grips my hand tighter. I feel my heart jump in joy when Magnus uses his pet name for me. It's something I have secretly loved this whole time, even before we got serious.

When we round the corner I see that basically everyone is in this room and they all seem to be having some sort of argument.

"Look all that I am saying is that you can't compare yourself and Clary to me and Simon. We are obviously the better couple here and everyone know that." Raphael and Jace are standing in the middle of the room glaring at each other.

"I highly doubt that. Sure you may be very cutesy and surprisingly comfortable with PDA but that doesn't make you cuter. Clary and I have been dating and then married for much longer than you have even known each other." Jace points out.

"Yes but at least I didn't spend most of the time in the early stages of knowing Simon believing he was related to me." Raphael snaps back and I hear a groan from both Simon and Clary at their childlessness.

"At least I didn't hate Clary or try to kill her when we first met." Jace argues.

"I did not try to kill him! I saved him because I knew that I loved him straight away." Raphael looks back at Simon with a look that I have never seen on his face before. "So that argument fell pretty flat."

"Oh well-" Jace is cut off by a very high pitched cheer. It shocks me for a second because I had never heard anything like it. But it is all explained when a blur called Isabelle slams into Magnus and hugs him tightly.

"OH MY GOD MAGNUS!" Isabelle cries out as she holds him to her.

"Isabelle, let him breath." I moan as she continues to try and hug the life from Magnus.

"Shut up you, you probably already had your reunion." Isabelle snaps playfully but she pulls back anyway. "Oh Maggy, you've been crying that's so sweet." Isabelle coos as she cups on of his cheeks. I notice that they are flushed slightly.

"Well It has been over seventy years, I would be a little hurt if he didn't cry." I say before retaking his hand and pulling him back to me. I can't stand him not being beside me for more than a minute. I don't know why but I just can't have him out of my sights for longer than that.

I look around the room then at all the people who are either looking shocked or happy to see Magnus. The one person that I am looking for is the only person who looks as if he is about to cry. Rafael.

"Mag's. I think someone would like to see you." I whisper to Magnus before motioning to the window where Rafael stands. Gently I pull Isabelle closer to me, letting go of Magnus in the process.

Isabelle coos slightly before cuddling in closer to me as she watches the scene unfold before her.

Magnus takes quick steps into the room, touching Clary's shoulder as he passes her. They had always been close out of all of us but I think that it just due to the fact that he watched her grow up and helped protect her all her life.

As soon as he reached Rafael he was pulling him into a fierce hug. Something similar to the hug I gave Max when I first laid eyes on him.

Rafael returned the hug just as much as Magnus. Everyone else in the room either smiled or looked away from the private moment. All I did was look on and smile at the two of my boys. Everything would be perfect only if Max was here. There would be a time for that soon and when it happens, I will make sure that Max and Magnus will work out their problems.

"Go over there." Isabelle whispers to me. I look down to see that she has tears in her eyes. The sight of her tears moves me and touches me in a way that was so unreal to me. I will still never understand the time that I tried to keep this from myself. I have no idea what my life would've been like if I went through with the wedding to Lydia. All I know is that it would never be as perfect as it is now.

With a small smile I move away from her and over to Rafael and Magnus.

Rafael is the first to see me and with a large smile he moves back from Magnus slightly, only just far enough to reach me and pull me into their hug. As soon as I have them both in my arms I hold them tightly to me. Kissing both of their heads before letting my cheek rest against Rafael's head.

My eyes meet Magnus's and it was in that moment that everything just seemed to fall back into place.


	6. Knowing me, knowing you.

**Knowing me, knowing you.**

**Clary:**

Everything seemed to be working out well for everyone in the group. Myself included.

Everyone has someone they could count on. Even Alec was back with Magnus and they had both of their sons too. I had Jace and the knowledge of a bright future ahead of me. The idea of me being immortal is a little surreal but also a little exciting. I wonder how many things we could do in that time, the opportunities seemed endless. And I will be forever grateful that I will be able to do them with Jace and my friends by my side.

One thing that does hang over my head slightly is Johnathan.

He has no idea about anything. He has no idea how to process everything that is going on and I am willing to bet anything that he is probably sitting in his room thinking that he belonged back in the below.

From the brief while I had to talk to him whilst we made our way into Alicante, I got the feeling that he was happy to be alive and to be able to explore himself and what he is without the weight of Sebastian. I could also tell that he thinks he doesn't deserve the chance to be able to do it.

I saw the way he flinched when he saw young Max Lightwood skipping beside Isabelle and Meliorn. I also saw the way all the other Lightwood's glared at him, as if daring him to even come close to Max.

I see why they would be like that but I also think Jonathan deserves the chance to show them that that's not who he is anymore. Well I am hoping that's not who he is anymore.

I leave everyone else to their own devices. Asking Alec to make sure Jace doesn't start a fight again over the cutest couple. It's an argument that happens quite often with us when we sit with each other for too long. It always starts out with Raphael and Simon though, I think they want it to happen so they could prove how cute they are. It's all rather silly but also quite amusing to witness.

I make my way to the room I know Jonathan is hiding in. I think that now is the time that we should talk. I want to get that out of the way before I speak to the others about what to do with him.

I knock on the door and as to be expected there is no answer. I push in anyway because, hey if he's going to be my brother then he will have to get used to me barging into his room all the time. It's childish and I know I shouldn't act this way considering I have already grown up into an old woman and I should know better. But there is one thing I know and that it's overrated to be a grownup.

When I open the door I find him sitting at the floor at the end of a large, very comfortable looking bed. He is sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his face hidden in his hands. His hair is all over the place so I know he must've been running his hands through his hair.

I sigh softly before coming to sit beside him on the floor. Leaving some distance between us because I know we have not got to that point in our relationship. It will probably take some time for me to see him the way I want to see him, the big brother I always wanted. But time is now on our side so I'm not worried about that in the slightest. It's such a weird feeling not having to worry about growing old.

I feel so happy for Alec and Magnus. They have ridden of the one thing that still held a black cloud over their relationship and now they can be happy. It's not like they weren't happy before but now they don't have to worry about saying goodbye to each other again, or to their children.

"Why are you here? You should be spending time with your family." Seb... Jonathan mumbles from his hiding place in his hands. He sounds wrecked and I can't help feeling a little sorry for him. Something deep down inside still cares for him as my brother, but not as the evil being he was forced into being.

I know myself, and I know my mother. We both have a problem with blaming ourselves if any little thing goes wrong that has something to do with us. Even if we couldn't help it. I knew how much Mum blamed herself when Jace went missing and the war started due to Sebastian. No one saw it as her fault because it was Valentine who did it not her but she saw it as her fault for bringing him into the world and letting him free.

There was plenty that I still blamed myself for but I have learnt not to let it dwell because I know how everyone would react if they heard me talking about it. No one blames me much anymore because they all agreed that no matter what the bad things were, they all still led them to find the ones they loved. Such as Magnus and Alec for a prime example. There would be no way they would've found each other and gotten together if it weren't for me trying to find my mother.

I fully believe that they would have met but I don't think Alec would've let himself go enough to get with Magnus. He would've married someone that his parents set up for him.

"I came to see how you were." I say softly. In a voice I would usually keep for the children that used to run about under our feet. Especially Rafael. I don't know how but he turned out a lot like his Uncle Jace.

"Why would you do something like that?" He moves his head slightly as if he was going to look at me, but then he moves it back to where it was. He obviously thought better of it. "Especially when you have all your friends in the next room?" He is probably not the only person to be thinking that. I know that if Jace knew I was here then he wouldn't be happy. He wouldn't be happy but he wouldn't stop me. He would probably just try to come with me to make sure nothing happens.

I can't have that though. I need this time with Johnathan by myself. We need this time to talk about what is going to happen between us. I need to know what he wants to do. If he wants to stay and try on work on becoming a brother to me like my mother would have wanted, or will he go off and try to make a life for himself somewhere else.

For now I want him to stay here, so I can keep an eye on him. I don't want him running around the Shadow World when there could still be people alive from the war. People know who he is or they will find out. He won't be pitied for what has happened to him. They won't care that he essentially was a man trapped inside his own body. They will want him punished for what he has done.

Until I can find a way to prove to people that he is good and that he should be given a chance. I don't want him going off on his own.

"I care about you." I say in the end because I guess it is true. He is my flesh and blood, no matter what he has done in the past. Considering that it wasn't even him then I deserve to give him a chance and it seems like caring for him is one way that is going to prove that.

"I don't know why you would, no one should care about me. After what I have done." He mumbles into his hands. It's almost a nice thing to see him this way. It allows me to see that we do have something in common.

"Hey, that was Sebastian, not you, okay." I say before resting a hand on his shoulder. I am hoping he will look up from his hands. I want to get a read on his face so I can try to figure out how he is feeling. But he still refuses. "Jonathan, you are not the same person. What he did wasn't you. He used you against your will."

"That doesn't matter Clary. That blood is still on my hands." Jonathan finally looks up and all I can see is the pained look on his face. "Whenever someone looks at me, they are going to see me as the person I was forced into being. All they will see is Sebastian or Jonathan Morgenstern. Valentine's evil son."

"Don't you think I know exactly how that feels? For years the only thing people saw me as Valentine's daughter. But I showed them who I was and I proved myself which is what you will need to do." I place my hands softly onto his, pulling them into my lap. "Nothing will get better until you prove yourself to them. Prove that you are not the man Sebastian was." I squeeze his hands tightly.

"How do I do that?" Jonathan asks and he just sounds so broken. He sounds like a man who has no idea what he is doing or who he is. It's the type of way you would expect a man who had lost everything in his life to sound. The only thing is, Jonathan has nothing. He only has me and a previous life he was forced into living. I don't think he should be blamed for it.

"It's not going to be easy, that much is expected but you are just going to have to start off small." I say to him. I am then silent as I think of a starting point for him. The laughter from the next room is what gives me an idea. "Perfect! I know how you can start." I grin wildly at him.

"How?" He looks at me, eyebrow quirking slightly.

"You are going to talk to the Lightwoods. If you talk things out with them then maybe they will understand you a little better. I will be with you because they trust me." I add in the last part when I see the panicked look on his face.

"I...I can't do that Clary! That is the last thing they need. I killed their little brother... they will never forgive me for that!" Jonathan tears his hands from mine as he stands up. After standing he begins to pace the room, his hands moving back to run through his hair.

"Yes, you can. I know you can because I know them. And if you are anything like my Mother or I then I know you can do it too." I say. I stand up so I could stop him from pacing but he is much stronger than I am, and his height gives him the advantage of getting one over me so as soon as I come near him he side step's away.

"I don't know if I am like you Clary. I know nothing about myself apart from my name and what I used to be." He turns to me for a moment and it looks like he is about to cry. My heart aches for the boy. He is still so young and to have gone through what he went through since birth, he was being incredibly strong about. Not even some of the most strongest Shadowhunter's I know could deal with some of this. "I will forever be known as Jonathan Morgenstern. The evil child of Valentine."

His voice broke on the last word and I was quick to react when I saw him fall to his knees. "I don't want to be that Clary. I want to be my own person but I don't know how!" Jonathan cries out.

To my surprise. He leans into my touch when I wrap my arms around him. He is shaking slightly and I can tell now that he is only just holding on.

"I am here. You need to know that I am going to be here for you through all of it. I am you sister, it's what I am here for." I say gently to him. A surprising feeling of protectiveness comes over me as I feel him break apart in my arms. It's the first time he has truly felt like my big brother. "You just need a fresh start. We all do after this." I say. "We will do everything in our power to make sure you are not who people say you are." I hold him just a little tighter in an unconscious way of telling him that I meant every word.

"You don't have to Clary. I am not much of a brother to you." Jonathan says, pulling away from me slightly, "I don't even know why the angels would send someone like me back."

He is shaking his head at the thought of someone like the angels deciding that he should live. I can see why they would do it. Jonathan is a very strong and gifted Shadowhunter like Jace and I. He also has had years of experience with the likes of Downworlders. He knows what he is doing and I think they might agree with me when I say that Jonathan deserves the chance to life.

"Because, like me. They saw the good in you." I tell him, pulling him back so he can't get away. "They saw what you may become if you had the chance to live." Jonathan pulls back only a little so he could look up at me.

"You really are too good Clary. I don't understand how anyone could look at me like a brother after what I have done to you and the ones you loved." He looks away in disgust. I know what he is talking about. He is talking about when he tried to force me into becoming his queen, or when he decided to kiss me all those times. It was even worse when he knew I knew that we were siblings.

I don't know what it is though. When I look down into the eyes of this boy. I don't see the evil demon that was Sebastian. All I see is the broken boy that is my brother and all I want to do is help him so he will stop looking so sad. All those other things that happened will forever be related to the black eyes boy Sebastian and not the one that sits beside me now.

"I don't care about the past Jonathan. I forgive you for what you done." I say as I push his hair back. "Now it's time for you to convince the people who need it." I see a small smile on Johnathan's lips and I can't help but smile back.

It's a weird thing to sit here and smile back and forth with my brother. It almost seems a natural thing to do, as if we had known each other and got along for years. It was the kind of feeling I got whenever I spoke about things with Simon. He was always a brother to me but I just never fully appreciated it until everything that happened with Sebastian and how I lost the brother I had after the use of the heavenly fire .

"I will do it. For you and your faith in me." He says before sitting up. "Even if I don't deserve it."

"Oh you deserve it. I know you do." I say then I push myself up onto my knees until we are eye level. "It's going to be hard but you have me so that's a start." I say

"It's more than I deserve Clary, thank you."

I smile at him brightly and he sends one back before letting it fall as he drifts off into his own thoughts for a while. I am about to ask if he is okay when he suddenly turns to look me dead in the eye with a large dopey grin on his face.

"What do you think about me changing my name to Fairchild?"


	7. I put a spell on you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to try and do some sort of sex scene but the truth is I'm not really good at them. It took me a while to upload this because of how many times I tried to write this chapter. I will apologize in advance because it's probably not the best.

**I put a spell on you.**

**Magnus:**

  
It was a good couple of hours before someone from the Clave turned up to inform us all that they will be questioning us all tomorrow and until then all the returnees are to stay in the building. I am allowed to come and go as I please but I doubt that will be happening much.

The only time I plan on leaving Alec's side is now. I follow Alec to the room that he was assigned. It was pretty plane but It's something I have gotten used to during the years without him. Just like my fashion choices, my usual flare for bright and cheerful furniture has gone.

Although as soon as I follow Alexander into the room, I have the sudden urge to redecorate.

"They left me some clothes." Alec comments as he looks around the room. "Nothing extravagant but I like it." He says before pulling out a plain black shirt and some grey sweatpants. "I'm going to shower. Care to join me?" He winks at me slightly and I feel butterflies in my stomach at the suggestive tone.

As much as I want too, I know I have to be serious first.

"As wonderful as that sounds. You, wet and soapy was always one of my favourite looks for you but... I should return home to collect my possessions." I back up slightly towards one of the walls, ready to make a portal right to the home I had been staying in with Catarina.

"You can get them tomorrow." Alec demands. He chucks the clean clothes onto the large white bed that sits on the far left of the room. As he passes the bed he comes up to crowd me with his body. "Please stay with me?" He pleads before pressing soft kisses to my neck.

"Bu...oh Alexander, no! stop trying to distract me- I need to get my clothes." I push him back from my neck slightly, not enough for him to be out of reach.

"Baby, what I had planned didn't involve you wearing anything. But if you are serious then I think you can borrow something from me until you go home." Alec tugs at the buttons on my blazer. Pulling them open one at a time until he is able to push the blazer from my shoulders. "Tomorrow..." He adds before leaning into to nip the skin under my ear.

I gasp slightly at the gentle contact to the sensitive skin. I feel my legs turn to jelly under me and I know he is doing this on purpose to try and get me to stay. And I must say, he is doing a very good job of convincing me. I don't really need to go all the way home to get my things. One snap of my fingers and my entire wardrobe could be here in seconds.

Oh screw it.

I smile to myself as I fully let myself go for the first time in years. As Alec continues to gently brush his lips over my neck, I allow my hands to run up his chest to link behind his neck. "Fine. I'll stay but only if you get your cute little ass into that shower now." I use the hair at the nape of his neck to pull him back. "I was promised a hot and soapy Nephilim and that is what I am going to get." I then press my lips against his in a desperate kiss.

I feel Alec grin against my lips as he kisses me back, with the same amount of desperation as I put into it. He pauses after a long minute of kissing, only to say. "I think that can be arranged." After that I find myself hoisted up into his arms. My arms around his neck whilst my legs automatically attach around his waist.

He carries me to the on suite bathroom and uses my back to push the door shut. Once there he continues to attack my mouth and neck with kisses. I am more than happy to respond but I also need Alec to remove his shirt, I think I might die if he doesn't.

Before I could even get around to asking him I can hear a loud tearing noise. I pull back from his mouth to see that he is holding to halves of my shirt in each hand. He literally tore my shirt from my body.

I pant slightly as I look up into his hear filled eyes. He looks slightly wrecked. His lips red and swollen, his hair sticking up in every which way, and his face is delightfully flushed.

"I need you...now." He pants before ducking down to pull one of my nipples into his mouth. The sudden spark of pleasure to my long neglected body makes me moan out load, it's slightly embarrassing but I don't care right now. All I care about is the feeling of Alec's body on mine.

The answering groan I got from him was positively sinful and it had me slightly gasping for breath. "Get this off. Now." I order as I struggle to grab onto his shirt. "It has been too long since I saw that beautiful body of yours." Alec grins before giving me one last teasing lick. He then pulls back to tear his shirt over his head. As soon as the offending article of clothing is gone from his body I am sliding down his body until I am face to face with those delicious looking abs. "Hmm, this just what I needed..." I then begin to kiss marks all over his torso. Feeling every ridge and line that came from his abs until I reached the hem of his jeans.

"Mag's" Alec gasps as I start to pull his belt through the buckle.

"Baby, it's been waay too long." Alec threads his hands into my hair and tries to pull me closer. "Nope. I'm in charge tonight. And my first decision is that we are going to forget the shower and I'm going to fucking ride you into that bed in exactly five minutes... is that okay Darling." I ask innocently before dropping a kiss onto his covered length, applying just enough pressure to make him moan.

"You are a fucking tease Magnus bane." Alec uses my neck to force me back up to him. He kisses me in a way that's more teeth and tongue than anything else, it's filthy and I love it.

"You love it baby, now be a man and fuck me." with one snap of my fingers I am completely naked. My dick slaps up against my stomach now that it was free.

Alec is looking at it as if it was some sort of prize. It made me slightly proud to make him look the way he is. "Are you going to do something about this or are you just going to stay?" I ask before turning around and opening the door.

It takes Alec les than a moment to follow me. He plasters himself against my back whilst his hand trails lightly down my stomach until it reaches the base of my cock. I give out a pleasurable hiss at the light touch he gives it. "I love you so fucking much Mag's" Alec gently bites at my ear.

"I'll love you more if you stopped being such a tease." I walk us both over to the bed before pulling away from Alec. Once I have moved away from him I lower myself onto the bed, stretching out to show that I am ready for the main event and that I have had enough of his teasing.

Without any warning Alec has dropped to his knees on the bed and swallowed my member into his mouth. He get's a little too into it because a moment later he chokes slightly as it hits the back of his mouth. I want to tell him to be careful but the next thing I know, he is swallowing around me and humming as he continues to bob his head up and down, catching his throat ever so often.

"Oh Alec, baby-Yes just there! keep doing that." I feel the familiar heat pool up in my stomach the more Alec does what he is doing. "Oh! I'm about to-" Alec stops just then.

I glare down at him with a look of mock hurt on my face but what I am met with is a wide eyed, swollen mouth, tousled haired Alec. The same Alec who is now reaching inside his jeans, not even bothering to take them off before he pulls out his own member. I feel myself throb at the sight of it. Is it strange to say that I missed someone's cock? I don't care if it is because it's true, I missed it greatly over the years.

"Do you have any lube-" Alec starts but I cut him off with a snap of my fingers. I feel a cool stretching feeling against my entrance and I can tell Alec knows exactly what I have done. He gives me a look, one of his eyebrows raised in question.

"I need you now, you can go slow another time." I order as I grab him by the waist. I use my leverage over him to flip positions until I am on top of him. "For now I just need you hard and I need it fast." I say before slamming myself down onto him.

Time seemed to stop as Alec fucked me. It was hard and brutal and just plain desperate. It was everything I was feeling and that I had been feeling ever since I saw Alec standing in that Council room. All I needed was him and I couldn't get enough.

Alec must have known that's what I want because the moment he entered me to the moment he came, he gave me everything I wanted, right then and there. And it wasn't until after we had come down from the whole thing that Alec kissed me softly and moved us both until we were hidden under the blankets.

He whispered sweet nothings into my ear even when he thought I was sleeping. It made me feel more loved and more needed than I had since before he died. With him here it made me feel like I could do anything. I never fully understood how lost I had gotten without him here. I had changed from my usual self into someone I didn't even know.

This Magnus that I had turned into was very dull and a pretty bad father. I had no idea how I must have hurt Max when I left. He needed me as much as I needed Alec. I was his father and I failed him when he needed me the most. How could I have not seen that he would be hurting over Alec's death too.

I knew that no matter what I would have to make it up to Max. And I think with the help of Alexander and Raphael, I might just be able to do it. The first thing I will do tomorrow is apologize to my son. And then I will stop moping about and get my life back into order. I'm not just worrying for myself any more. I have my family back ad that's what matters.

With that thought I allow myself to cuddle further into Alec's arms.

Our shower was long forgotten.


	8. Try

**Try.**

**Jonathan:**

I'm not welcome here and I know it. Everyone in this room must hate me. Even those who I have never met before. Including the two men that no one knows, the same ones who haven't left their rooms since we arrived here.

Clary has been with me most of the morning but I know she would much rather be with someone who wasn't her ex homicidal maniac of a brother. I don't even know why she is even trying with me anymore. She should just give up on me like the others have. It would be much easier on her.

"I think we should talk to Alec first. He will be easier to talk to than Isabelle." Clary suggests as she scans over the room at all the Lightwoods that are littered about the room. I watch over Isabelle and Alec but I refuse to look over at the small nine year old Max. The little kid looks to happy and bright as he speaks to who I believe to be Simon. Clary's real brother.

"No." I say which takes Clary aback. "I want to talk to Isabelle. She will say the truth and that's what I need." I say, my voice wavers slightly as I speak. If I had it my way, I wouldn't be doing this at all, I would be running off to some far away place where I could live on my own and without hurting anyone.

"Jonathan I-" Clary starts.

"No. I want to talk to her." I say before turning out of the room. I expect Clary to convince Isabelle to come with her. I know it makes me seem a little demanding but I know that If I try to convince her into talking to me, I will most likely get smacked or killed.

My expectations in my sister seem to be right because next thing I know Isabelle and Clary are walking into the room I was currently sitting in. It seemed to be some sort of study. As soon as they come in Clary has closed the door and drawn what must be a locking or privacy rune. How she got a stele, I would never know.

"Clary what the hell is going on?" Isabelle snarls at Clary as soon as she spots me. Her eyes never leave me even when she speaks to Clary. It's as if she is trying to kill me with her stare.

"Jonathan would like to apologize and speak to you-" Clary starts calmly but her calm voice only seems to annoy Isabelle further.

"APOLOGIZE!" Isabelle bursts out as she finally tares her eyes away from me. She flings her arms out slightly as she paces around the room. "You want me to sit here and listen to his half hearted apologies about how he KILLED MY BROTHER? Or how he tortured some of my friends or do you not remember what he done to Luke? or especially to Magnus! He made Raphael kill himself, either that or Magnus would be the one dead and Alec would have never been happy again?" I let my head drop in shame as she continues to tick of everything I had done wrong. "Not only that, Simon had to live out most of his life in a lie with me because HE is the reason Raphael was dead. Simon loved Raphael, even then and for him to turn up in that demon realm to find that the man he loved was dead and he didn't even get the chance to say goodbye...could you imagine how that made him feel?" Isabelle pauses to let Clary answer.

"I know Isabelle. Simon is my best friend, I love him like a brother and it killed me to see him in so much pain," Clary looks close to tears. "But. That was not Jonathan...that was not my brother." Clary states before looking over at me. Her gaze sends a little bit of courage through me.

"Clary you can't believe-" Isabelle starts again.

"No, Isabelle. I do believe." Clary cuts her off, her voice sure and strong. "I believe that the boy who caused us all that pain was Sebastian. I also believe that Sebastian is dead. Jonathan however is not Sebastian. They are two people, they are Doctor Jekyll and Mr Hyde." I begin to lose her at this because whatever she is saying must be something Mundane. "The evil was literally burned out of him by heavenly fire. All that is left in him is good. And he deserves the chance to live the life he was robbed of by Sebastian." Clary pauses to catch her breath. "He should get the chance to prove to you that he is not what you think he is, he is not a monster. He is just my brother. You shouldn't judge him on what he was forced to do." She finishes with a pleading tone.

"Clary, you don't have to say these things." I say before Isabelle has the chance to speak. "I might have not killed her brother personally. However it was my body, my face that she saw killing him. She won't get over that over a couple of days and some begging." I say.

"But Jonathan it's not you-" Clary starts.

"I know that Clary but it's not something you will get over. It might take time for her to get over it or it might not happen at all. I don't blame her or Jace or her other brother-"

"Alec," Clary adds.

"- Right, Alec. They might not get over it and that's okay... all I ask is that I can have the chance to figure myself out and be allowed the chance to prove to you Clary that I can be your brother...it's all I want." I ask, both Clary and Isabelle.

I am so grateful that Clary is allowing me this chance and I love that she is being so supportive with me, but I need to get my head sorted before I try to prove myself to anyone. I can't do that without finding out who I am first. As soon as I speak to the other Lightwoods and we have been approved the chance to leave, I will go somewhere far away for a while to clear my head. I just hope Clary is going to be okay with that.

"Why should I?" Isabelle asks. Her voice is no longer angry and it's a little more understanding. I know she is angry and wants answers but I also know she is beginning to calm down about it all.

"I know you have no reason to give this to me after what I done to you and you have no reason to trust me...but if you can't do this for me, please do it for Clary because for some reason she trusts me and this means a lot to her." I say before flicking my eyes over to Clary who smiles back at me.

"Of course I care about you. No matter what Sebastian made you do, you are my brother and you have never had the chance to live the life Valentine took from you." Clary moves away from the door and closer to me. Isabelle watches us carefully. "I know that Mom would like that and I always wanted a brother." She grins before playfully nudging my arm with her shoulder. I don't return her playfulness.

"You have a brother and if I am correct his name is Simon." I state, her face falls slightly. I'm guessing what she meant by brother is a little different from what she has with Simon. I don't know how she manages to come up with two categories of brother.

"I know, Simon is my brother and he always has been. But it's different with you...I don't know how to explain it but I want a real brother even though Simon is more like a brother than anything I have ever had." She takes hold of my hand and holds it tightly. "I believe that you are not what Sebastian made you to be." Isabelle suddenly clears her throat.

"Okay." She states, Clary turns to look at her. Her eyebrows raised in question as if she forgot what we were even talking about. "I will give you the chance to prove to me that you are not who Sebastian made you to be. I will speak to Alec and Jace also, although I don't think Jace will have a problem if it's important to Clary." Isabelle surprisingly smiles.

"Isabelle, t- thank you I-" Clary starts but she is cut off when Isabelle closes her eyes and holds up a finger to stop her.

"I do ask for one thing in return." She opens her eyes and glances between the two of us.

"Anything." Clary says.

"I'll do anything." I say because it's true and the fact that she is giving me a chance to prove myself means a lot to me.

"I need you to limit your time around Max. It would make things easier for me that way." She crosses her arms over her chest in a way that shows that she means business. "It's going to be hard enough to almost forgive and forget about everything."

Clary looks like she is going to protest but then she shrinks back and closes her mouth. Obviously she realized what a reasonable request that was.

"I can do that. I wouldn't want to make any of you uncomfortable in any way so if this helps you, I'm more than happy to do it." I agree to her terms and it seems to make her feel a little better. She lets her hands fall from her chest until they swing at her sides. Her shoulders also visibly relax too.

"Thank you." She takes a deep breath before walking closer to me until she is at arms reach. "If we're going to do this, then we will do it right," she holds out one of her hands to me in an offer to shake mine. "Isabelle Lightwood." I give Clary a nervous look. No matter what the gesture is, I will still be slightly afraid of this girl, she seems very strong minded and could probably kill me with a hair pin if she wanted it enough.

Clary gives me a reassuring nod of the head, coaxing me to take Isabelle's offered hand. I smile slightly at her before reaching out to close my hand around Isabelle's smaller and slightly more delicate than mine, delicate but deadly. I'm surprised when Isabelle tries to give me a small smile, and I appreciate that she is trying to make this easy for me. She really meant what she said when he said she would give me a chance. I smile back at her, a little too wildly.

"Jonathan. Jonathan Fairchild."


	9. The power of love

 

**The power of love.**

**Magnus:**

The sunlight streaming through the windows is what wakes me up in the morning. It's slightly disorientating to wake up in an unfamiliar environment and to not be able to see what you are doing.

Despite the sunlight, the bed that I am in is cold. A little too cold to be comfortable.

With a sudden horrible realization I remember that Alexander should be here. But from the cold sheets down to the crisp cold of the sheets next to me, that hardly even look used. I am forced to reconsider that the whole of last night might have been a dream. There is nothing in this room to prove it could be otherwise.

Everything is exactly the same as it was when we fell asleep last night. Not one thing is out of place.

It must have been a dream. Some sick and horrible dream brought of from my grief of losing Alexander. That means that everyone I thought was back, was still dead. Including my little Rafael.

My body and mind could be so cruel sometimes.

With a pitiful whimper, I curl up into a ball before pulling the blankets up and over my head. Tears prickle behind my eyes but they seem so sore and used from sleep that it's almost impossible to let the tears fall. One or two do escape though without my permission. I hide my face in my arms, I also squeeze myself into a tighter ball to try and stop the pain of loss that clenches in my stomach. It is then that I start sobbing tearless sobs into my arms, unable to fight off the pain anymore. 

The door to the room opens silently, it's obviously Catarina coming in to check on me. She does that quite often, especially near Alec's death anniversary. I let out a small sob before speaking to her. "Go away Cat, I want to be alone." I whimper before hugging myself tighter.

Much to my dismay, Catarina ignores me and I feel her weight as she sits down on the bed. I feel one of her hands gently touch my shoulder through the blankets. "Magnus? baby what's wrong?" Okay, that was not Catarina.

Sitting bolt upright and turning fast enough that my neck cracks slightly. Sitting next to me, looking very worried was my darling Alexander. With a relieved sigh I throw my arms around his neck, pulling him as close to me as I possibly could. 

"I thought it was all a dream!" I whimper into his neck. The pain and loss has now gone and it has been replaced with relief.

"What was a dream?" Alec rocks me slightly as he lets me get everything out of my system.

"I thought that I dreamed everything last night, when I woke up and you weren't here. I thought that you an...and Rafael were still dead." I must sound incredibly stupid right now but I'm still trying to come to terms with everything that has happened here. It's probably normal to think that it was all a dream. I'm just glad Alec is here to remind me that it wasn't.

"Hey, it's okay." Alec runs a hand through my hair. "I'm here and I'm sorry for not being here when you woke up, I was making breakfast with Max and Rafael... something we haven't done for a long time and it's something you deserve." He sounds a little sheepish and I can't help but to find it slightly adorable.

"You were making breakfast for me?" I laugh slightly into the fabric of his shirt. "How romantic."

"Oh yeah, breakfast with your two immortal children and previously dead fiancee. It's totally romantic." He replies sarcastically. "They're waiting on us if you are up for it?" He asks before squeezing me slightly.

"Of course I would be interested, just give me some time to get ready." I say in a false happy voice. I can't tell him that I am still worried about spending so much time with Max now that everything is on the table. I will have to face him at some point and live with the consequences of being absent all those years of his life. I have no excuses for what I did and I deserve everything I get from him.

"Perfect," he kisses the top of my head before letting me go. "Oh! Also Max told me to tell you that at three you have a council meeting." Alec get's up and stands away from the bed. He probably knows that's where I am going summon all of the things I need and it's always best if he takes a step back to avoid being hit by something. 

"Any way of me getting out of this and sending Catarina in my place?" I ask. The idea of another boring council meeting is probably on the end of my list of things I wanted to do today. 

"Probably not. They'll want to hear your opinion on things especially when you know us all so well." Alec fiddles with the bed sheets that are hanging off of the bed. "They will also want to hear your opinion on what to do with Clary's brother. They're not going to be happy to hear that we've drawn a truce with him." Alec shakes his head slightly, obviously disagreeing with the idea. 

"Why would you do that?" I ask, turning to face him properly. With an absent snap of my fingers, everything I could possibly need to get ready is now waiting on me in the middle of the room. Everything packed to perfection to avoid anything being crushed or broken when it comes to my makeup and other such stuff. 

"Isabelle promised Clary she would try to give the guy a chance. He clearly is no longer Sebastian but no one knows who he really is or what he is like so I just don't think we should go trusting him," Alec sighs heavily and runs his hands over his face and into his hair. "But, Clary deserves the chance to get to know her brother and I trust her judgment, I'm just glad he promised to stay away from Max." He flops down onto the bed, bouncing slightly on impact. 

"That's very mature of you Alexander, I'm proud." I pat his knee as I pass to get to the mirror. One of the benefits of last nights activities is that I don't need to undress. "Now I'm going for a shower... would you like to join me?" I send him a wink before walking into the bathroom...

 

After a much too long shower, and at least forty minutes to apply my makeup. We finally make our way to the kitchen. Both Max and Rafael have already started to eat, I guess we took longer than I thought. 

"It's rude to eat before everyone is at the table." Alec reprimands as he takes a seat beside Rafael. Both of them smile at him, Rafael makes a show of chewing on his pancake before he has sat down. "Don't start on me Raf." Alec smirks as he holds up a banana menacingly. Rafael just laughs. 

"Dad, I'm a trained and experienced Shadowhunter. My Dad's are Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood and I have someone like Aunt Isabelle for an aunt. I am not going to be scared by the threat of potassium." Rafael shakes his head before turning away from Alec to look at me. "Morning Papa!" He grins at me like a five year old. 

"I blame you for his sass and cheek." Alec grumbles before dropping the banana and staring at it like it personally offended him. 

"Sorry love, I can't help it if my son inherited my fabulousness." I drop a kiss on Rafael's head. I then take a seat beside Max. I'm unsure of what to do now, I feel like I should say or do something with Max like I did Rafael but I don't know what he would be comfortable with. 

"Morning Papa..." Max says quietly, almost as if he didn't want me to hear. It hurts slightly to think that he is too afraid to talk to me. 

"Good morning Maxy, did you manage to sleep last night?" I ask even though I can tell what the answer is just by the look on his face, and the half empty coffee pot beside him. 

"N...no, busy with a lot of paper work and trying to decide what to do with half a dozen once dead people, kinda makes it hard to sleep." Max looks surprised that I even answered him. He also looks slightly happy that I did. 

"Well if you ever need some time to sleep, you can always ask me to help." I say quietly. A little private moment between Max and I and it seemed to do wonders because a moment later he is wrapping his arms around me. 

"Thank you Papa." Max seemed genuinely happy that I offered to help him and perhaps he was. Maybe things will end up being okay with us, if I work a little harder at making it up to him. It's going to take some time and I am really going to have to prove myself to him though. I have no problem trying to prove it to him because he is my son and I would do anything for him. 

"Well... I have no idea what is going on here but I say enough with the heaviness for now and let's enjoy breakfast?" Rafael proclaims loudly. 

"I believe Rafael is right, I mean it's not everyday you get to celebrate your dead family coming back to life." Alec brings a cup of black coffee to his lips. I could almost sense the amount of sugar that is sitting in his cup. It makes me shudder just to think about it. 

"Slow down on the coffee dear, we just got you back." I pull back from Max to face him. "We don't need you dying from a sugar overdose." I take a sip from a close by teacup. Someone must have made these drinks before we arrived. It was made to my perfect preference so it must have been one of the kids. 

The only thing I get back from Alec is a glare as he continues to drink his coffee. He knows how much I hate the amount of sugar he was drinking, I'm always worrying that he will do some damage to himself. But surely if he is immortal now then something like sugar won't do much harm to him. I will be looking out anyway, I will be looking out for him all the time. 

"I smell food!" Ragnor waltzes into the room with Raphael and Simon close behind him. They all look so well put together, apart from Raphael. Apparently he is still trying to get used to the fact that he is no longer a vampire. It's slightly amusing to see him this way when he usually looks so great. 

"Help yourselves." Rafael smiles at the new comers with a childlike glee in his eyes. If you didn't know him then you wouldn't think he could belong to the cut throat community that is the Nephilim. "I cooked most of it myself but Max tried to help...stay away from the Eggs, he takes after Aunt Isabelle." Raf motions to the eggs that are sitting at the furthest end of the table. They look a little too orange and runny for them to be considered scrambled eggs. 

"Best to stay away from them then, I would know." Simon backs away slightly from the offending eggs. It makes Max huff slightly but he doesn't say anything, probably knowing that it is true. He really did get his cooking skills from dearest Isabelle. No matter how hard I tried to teach him, it just never happened. 

"This is all so very domestic, I don't know if I like it." Raphael slumps down at the table and rubs a hand over his face with a long drawn out sigh. "I never imagined to be sitting here like this." He reaches out to the table to steal Alec's coffee. Alec reaches to take it back with a small grunt of annoyance but it's already too late and the coffee is gone. 

"Easy there Raphael." Simon warns then softly pulls the cup from Raphael's hands. He turns his nose up at the stuff, Simon had never really been the biggest fan of coffee let alone Alexander's. "Alec puts enough sugar in his coffee to supply a store for months." Simon chuckles slightly at the face Raphael makes when he realizes this for himself. 

"I see nothing wrong with a little sugar." Ragnor pipes up as he helps himself to a coffee. "My boy, would you please pass me the sugar you have been hiding from your father?" Ragnor turns to look at Max, who in turn looks a little shocked to have been discovered. 

"How did you know?" Max asks as he pulls up a small pot of sugar from under the table. 

"Please, I'm older than your father." Ragnor heaps two spoonfuls of sugar into his cup. "I have also known him long enough to know the little traits of his that you seem to have copied from him, like the telltale way I am able to see you have used magic. You would've inherited his tells if he was the one who trained you." Ragnor shifts closet to Max, the boy has now turned his full attention on Ragnor. I already know that the two of them are going to get on swimmingly and I don't know if I should be worried or not. By the look on Alec's face, I can tell I am not the only one a little worried about their new friendship. 

"He's not the only one who trained me, I was trained a lot by Aunt Cat. She had a little more patience than Papa did." Max laughs slightly and I know now that my suspicions have been confirmed. I should definitely be worried about this friendship. 

Deciding I had enough of only hearing the two of them speak, I turn around to look at Rafael." I notice he is looking slightly out of place. He is looking at Max and Ragnor with a look of sadness and slight jealousy. 

It seems that Rafael has inherited his father's ability to doubt himself to the highest order. I can't recall how many times I had to comfort a sobbing Rafael who was adamant that he didn't belong in this family because he wasn't good enough. I guess it comes from being abandoned by his real parents. He used to get to upset when others would be more interested in seeing the warlock baby being raised by a Shadowhunter and a Warlock. Always believed that people liked Max better because he was more interesting than Rafael. 

I knew I had to do something before Rafael would go back into that head space. I wouldn't of been so worried if it wasn't something he still suffered over even when he was much older. 

"Raf?" I ask him softly, reaching across the table to take his hand. Alexander's eyes meet mine for a moment and he is already beginning to understand. 

"What do you want Bane?" I move my eyes from my son to the slumped over, pathetic looking ex vampire who is now staring at me with nothing but annoyance in his eyes. 

"Oh, Raphael... I believe I was talking to my son." I say quietly. This makes Raphael look over to where Raf is sitting. 

"I forgot you had a son with the same name is me. What a privilege." Raphael actually winks over at Raf who beems back at him. A flame of hope sparks in my chest. Could Raphael Santiago be the person my son needed? It seemed like it could be possible. 

"Raf honey, why don't you spend the day with Raphael?" I suggest. It works both ways. Raf will have someone to connect too and Raphael can get used to training and being around other Shadowhunters. It's a win win situation. 

"I uh... guess I could do that sure! If you're okay with it?" Raf can hardly contain his excitement when he turns to look at Simon and Raphael. I notice Simon staring fondly at Raphael, who actually looks happy with the idea. Who knew Raphael could be happy about anything that doesn't involve himself. I never thought I would see the day. 

"We could introduce Raphael into the world of the Nephilim...and perhaps show him how to wake up in the morning." Simon jokes. He laughs when he receives a glare from Raphael, which just makes Raf laugh a little. It was nice to see them all getting along.

"We could totally do that! I could even teach him how to make coffee without a whole gallon of sugar in it!" Raf doesn't even listen to the huff Alec let's out. He is too excited with today's new plans.

"I guess that wouldn't be too terrible, perhaps I can make sure you haven't been completely scared by having these two as parents." Raphael seems to want to get his own back at them for making fun of him. I just don't know why he used Alexander and I for that use when we said nothing to him. 

"It's settled then. After breakfast though, I want you all fed and ready for the day, especially you Max." Max turns around from his conversation with Ragnor, he looks slightly confused. He probably wasn't listening to me. "I want you to eat so you are sure to have enough energy for today. I imagine it's going to be a long day and you already haven't had enough sleep." I begin fussing about with his plate of food. The amount of food on it doesn't seem enough, and I can't have my son not eating right. What kind of father would I be if I allowed that. 

"Papa I can-" I hold up a finger before he could say anything else. It's the same action I would do when he refused to eat as a five year old. 

"Nope. I don't want to hear it Max. You are going to eat everything on that plate...do you understand me?" I raise on eyebrow, as if testing him. He seems to think better than to argue back with me. 

"Okay Papa." Max sighs before digging into his food. 

Satisfied with that. I turn back to my own food. I avoid the eyes I know are staring at me in shock. I know I acted all mother bear there suddenly but now that I had my family back, I am going to do everything I can to make sure they stay here and healthy. 

I would do anything for them, and I swear that I would die before I let them die again. 

And that was a promise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to try and do a 12 days of Christmas thing. Hopefully I can keep up with everyday. Sometimes chapters wont be as long as others but I will try my best to keep up. 
> 
> Not all of them will be on this story so make sure you keep checking back on the others for any new updates.


	10. Counting Stars

Counting Stars-

Magnus:

I was sitting curled up beside Alec on one of the large sofa's. We were watching as Rafe and Raphael were discussing runes. Well it started out as a discussion but it ended up becoming an argument between them. It was pretty amusing watching Raphael get flustered over runes.

He wanted to get his first rune and wouldn't listen when Rafe reasoned that it was probably best to wait and see what happened after the council meeting. It made sense, the Clave might not agree that Raphael should be allowed to be a Shadowhunter, considering his background. They might even want to rune him themselves, or keep an eye on exactly what runes he was using. There was so many possibilities as to why giving him any sort of rune now was not a good idea, but Raphael wasn't having it.

"Who cares what the blasted Clave thinks, clearly I'm a good fit to be a Shadowhunter if that's what the angels made me to be. I highly doubt the Clave are going to argue back with angels, even they're not stupid enough to do that." Raphael snarls, his snarling is not as effective as it used to be when he was a vampire, but he was probably just used to it, I'm not going to tell him to stop.

"That may be a fair point, but I'm still not going to do it until we know what they have to say about all of this. Plus we're at war with the vampires, and you used to be one. They don't know how you will react to that, especially if you have a history of hating the Nephilim." Rafe sends a look to Simon, as if begging him to get Raphael to stop somehow. Simon just grins at them and shrugs.

"Sorry Rafe, I'm not getting involved in this. You're not the one who has to share a room and a bed with him later tonight. He's a surprisingly moody human and I don't want to end up sleeping on the couch in here." Simon sends him an apologetic look then turns back to the book he was looking through. Simon was the only one so far who had taken an interest in finding out what had happened in all the years he had been dead.

"Call me moody again and you _WILL_ be in here." Raphael threatens but there was no heat to his words. Simon just grins from where he was sitting, his face almost pressed into the book.

"I Love you too, Raphael," Simon fires back at him without looking up. Raphael falters for a bit, his face falls from it's angry expression to one of happiness, a small smile lights up his face. It's nice to see him so happy. Simon's comment also seems to drive the rest of Raphael's fighting spirit out of him.

"Fine. I'll wait until after the damn meeting, but _YOU_ -" Raphael turns to jab a finger towards me, "better work your magic and convince them where I stand."

"And where exactly do you stand?" I tease but it only earns me a glare. "Relax, I was just kidding. Besides, I raise one of my hands from where it rests on Alec's chest, "Magic is what I do best remember?" I let a couple of sparks loose from my fingers. Raphael just rolls his eyes at me before making his way back over to Simon. Simon still doesn't look up from him book but he just seems to know Raphael is this without looking. He raises his arm and allows Raphael to sidle in next to him before dropping his arm around his shoulders. Raphael closes his eyes and seems about to fall asleep. I guess he's not used to not sleeping during the day yet.

I feel Alec lace his hand with the one still raised in front of us. He brings it to his mouth to drop a soft kiss on it before letting our hands rest on his lap.

"What was that for?" I ask with raised eyebrows. I smile softly at him as I'm unable to help it. The look on his face is just so precious, I can't ignore it.

"Just because I love you." He uses his free hand (the one currently wrapped around the back of me) to play with my hair. "And I'm just so happy that I get to spend the rest of my life with you, if I had known that I would get to spend eternity with you back in the early years, it would've stopped so many headaches." He jokes.

His words melt my heart a little. This wasn't something I ever expected to have, even when I first began getting serious with Alexander. There was always the threat of his mortality over us. After all the drama it caused, we didn't let it get to us any longer but the threat was always there.

Now? Well I literally get to spend all the time in the world with Alexander Lightwood and our two sons. I don't think I have quite understood yet that after all the years of failed relationships, heartbreaks, and Camille. I finally have someone who isn't going to leave me when things get tough, he isn't going to leave me for someone else and he genuinely loves me just as much as I love him.

I fully believe that he is my soulmate. God I wish I had some idea about him several hundred years ago. Perhaps then I wouldn't have done some of the messed up stuff I did in those years.

"Darling, I uh- I don't know what to say...apart from I love you too." I say before leaning in to kiss him softly. "I can't wait for us to go home and start our lives again." I whisper once we pull away.

"You do realise that going home might take until after the war?" A new voice says from the doorway. I turn to see that Catarina has turned up at the door. This is the first time she has been here since everyone arrived back so I have no idea if he has seen or spoken to anyone or not. I bet Ragnor would be really excited to see her, she will be excited to see him as she never got the chance to say goodbye to him before he died. I think the last time she saw him was about 50 years before he died.

"I know my dear, but just wishful thinking. You need to have things to look forward too as they are what help get you through the war." I shoot back before removing myself from Alec's arms so I can greet her properly.

"Well I'm just happy that you have something to make you happy again, I hated seeing you like you were." She says this more just to me. She then proceeds to give me a hug quickly before pulling back to look at the rest of the people in the room.

"Catarina, It's nice to see you again," Alec comes up from behind me to pull her into a hug of his own. She seems startled for a moment but then she returns the hug with a huge smile on her face.

"The same thing to you Alec, god. I never thought this would happen, but then again no one thinks about the dead coming back to life, or, they might. No one expects it to happen though." She trails off as she tries to sort through her words.

"You sound like a young me." Alec laughs. "I mean, I used to not be able to speak without rambling." He adds.

"Darling I think you are mixing yourself up with Simon over there." I say because I might be true that Alec used to have trouble with words, but Simon was the one who could never stop talking, and I would know. I was the one who lived with him for a while. I don't think I would ever have to watch Star Wars again as I pretty much got a play-by-play of it every night before bed.

"That's true," A sleepy voice says from the general direction of Raphael and Simon. "I could never get him to shut up, no matter if he was a Mundie or not." Raphael frowns and sits up. It seems that his small two minute nap wasn't enough for him, he is probably going to drag Simon off back to their room so they could nap.

"Raphael, it's nice to see you too. I see nothing much has changed." Catarina says this sarcastically. Raphael is different in just about every way, from his hair to his sexual orientation.

"Whatever, I'm in no mood for humour, if you want that then I shall direct you to Ragnor." He stands up and yawns. "But all kidding aside, it's nice to see you too Cat." He takes Simon's hand and pulls him up from the sofa, this makes Simon drop his book.

"Raph! just because you're tired all the time doesn't mean we can sleep all day, I want to do some more reading." Simon pouts but Raphael just ignores him. He gives Simon a look that is the closest thing to pouting that Raphael will allow himself to do. Raphael Santiago doesn't pout. I remember him saying those exact words to me during the many training hours we had when I first found him.

"Well, this is new." Catarina comments as she watches the two lovers interact. "Since when did this happen?" She asks Alec and me. I simply shrug at her before motioning to Alec as he is the one who knows.

"I'm not sure how many years it's been but if I had to guess, maybe twenty?" Alec is quiet for a moment before nodding his head.

"It was so not twenty years ago, it wasn't that long." Rafe scoffs. He has taken a seat on the floor, I don't know why he decided to sit on the floor when he could've sat on one of the comfy sofa's. It also takes up a lot of room when he sit's on the floor as he is close to Alec's size, only slightly ganglier in his limbs. He always hated working out so he only had minimum muscles, completely unlike Alexander.

"Rafe! I didn't see you down there!" Catarina loves Rafe, always had. She loved to spoil him when we first got him but then again so did everyone. Once they found out the situation he was in before we adopted him, everyone in our small family and our friends, decided that they would spoil him rotten, just so he would know that he was loved and he wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Hey Aunty Cat!" Rafe jumps up to pull her into a bone crushing hug. He towers over her now, unlike when he was younger and only reached her hip. Catarina is not a small woman which makes it funnier to see her hugging Rafe.

"Careful you don't squash her Rafe," Alec warns because it could literally happen. There's been times when Rafe has hugged someone so enthusiastically that they've actually been hurt. I don't think he quite understands the strength that he has.

"Oh, don't worry about me Alec. If he tries to squash me I will squash him right back." Cat warns and a faint green glow appears around her hands.

"You couldn't do that to me aunt Cat, you love me too much!" Rafe pulls away then winks at her. Catarina only shakes her head then turns to glare at Magnus.

"He takes after you." She states before grinning.

"That's why you love him, just like it's why you love me" I shoot back.

Catarina is about to respond when Max suddenly arrives in the doorway. He is wearing his official council robes and has made sure his hair is no longer a mess like it was when he woke up this morning

"Meeting's about to start." He tells us then smiles at Alec and Rafe.

The smile that was on my face was gone in moments. I had been dreading this moment all day. I didn't want to leave this house without Alexander and Rafael by my side. I didn't want them out of my sight, this morning was a horrible moment all because I didn't know where Alexander has gone. If I don't see them then I will just be worrying about everything that could go wrong again. Such as the angels changing their minds and taking everyone away from me again, or someone getting themselves hurt. The worst thought in my head is that I'm still going to wake up to find that this was all some sick dream.

I'm pulled back to reality by a warm hand on the small of my back. I look up to see Alec staring at me with wide worried eyes. It's as if he could read my mind all of a sudden because a moment later he is placing a kiss on my forehead. "Go, Magnus. We'll be fine I promise." He says softly before pulling me into a warm hug.

"I don't want to go." I whine into the maroon jumper I made him put on because he was slightly cold and I wanted to hug him. "Why do I have to go?"

"Because you're the High Warlock, now stop acting like a baby and let's get a move on." Catarina pulls me out of Alec's arms and I swear to god this is the only time I have ever felt like killing her. I want to say something bitter like; she's just jealous that she doesn't have something like what Alec and I have. I don't say anything though because I know that it will end with me being more hurt than her. I'll find myself on the other side of the world without a stich of clothing on, or maybe she will tell Max and Rafe the real reason we have never been to Peru.

"Fine, fine I'm going." I pull my arm from her grasp before blowing a kiss over to Alexander and Rafe. "I love you both, don't do anything to get yourselves hurt until I get back." I call to Alec and Rafe as I am pushed out of the door to join Max. I hear Rafe call something back before I'm once again being pushed forward by Catarina, this makes Max laugh.

"C'mon Papa, it's not going to be so bad. I'll try to make it as quick as possible so you can return home." Max promises and I feel such gratitude to him. I pull him into a one armed hug. Lucky for me, Max is just slightly smaller than me so it's easier to hug him than it is to hug Rafe. Max also liked to be hugged from time to time so it makes it better.

"Thank you blueberry, that means a lot to me." I say as we exit the building. I has walked the length of the pathway before realising that Max had faltered and stopped. "Is there something wrong darling?" I ask him, I had no idea what could make him stop and look as happy as he did right now.

"No, nothing's wrong, let's go we're running late." He smiles at me before walking up until he is at my side again. I notice he stays closer to me than he was before, our arms almost touching. I don't know what made my boy so happy but I'm determined to find out because it makes me feel happy to know he is.

"Okay blueberry let's go." I say before linking arms with him. I'm careful not to crease his council robes, I know what he can get like if you crease or mess up his clothes, I know because I am the same way. He has a lot of the same mannerisms as me and I like that. Rafe got a lot from Alexander as they were trained the same way and spent a little more time together when they were at the institute. Alec refused to let anyone but Isabelle, Jace, and himself train Rafe. He wouldn't let his mother anywhere near him when it came to training.

I guess it makes sense, after the childhood he had. I wouldn't want my children to be trained like that either. At least with him being Rafe's main trainer, it was easier on Rafe as Alec could be tough when he needed too but was also there to comfort him when need be.

Alexander was truly the perfect father.  
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Max was right when he said we were running late. By the time we got there everyone else was waiting on us arriving. It was okay for people like Catarina and I to be late but not so much for Max as he was the Inquisitor. It should be okay though, in all the years he has been the Inquisitor, I think this is the first time he has been late.

He also has good reason to be late. I mean people should understand that Max just wanted to spend some time with his family, some of which he hadn't seen in over fifty years. It makes sense that he ran a little late because he wanted to see them a little longer.

Max didn't seem to think it was as okay as I thought. He left our side immediately after we walked through the doors and almost ran to his seat at the head of the council room. I let out an amused laugh as I watch him fluster as he tries to get himself into some kind of order.

Catarina and I move towards the two seats that belong to us. They are marked with our names as always. There are several other Warlocks in the room but they don't have priority seats like we do because they are just some lower down clave members. Sometimes you get the occasional angry warlock or seelie who demand to be prioritised, but they are usually the younger members.

"Okay, okay let's get down to business-" Max leans back into his chair and looks out at the people in front of him. "I think we can all agree that this is a highly unusual position we are in, something that has never happened before." Max is already being interrupted by a young werewolf girl. She looks slightly nervous as she raises her hand to get attention. Max simply nods his head at her.

"Sir, I'm sorry to ask but... can we really trust that these people are who they say they are? Some have been dead for over one hundred years." The girl asks. I feel annoyance flare up inside me because how dare she ask a question like that? How could she even consider that Max, Catarina and myself could be fooled by something like that. I have been alive for over five hundred years and I have been the high warlock for several decades now.

I push the anger down though because the rational side of me screams that it isn't fair for me to be angry at her. She doesn't know Alec or the rest of the returners like we do. She doesn't have any reason to trust them yet, all she has is our word and that might not even be enough, considering she hardly knows us.

"I understand your concern but I give you my word, and the word of my father when I say that these people are exactly who they say they are." Max says in an unusually soft voice for this kind of thing. I can tell by his eyes that he was probably thinking along the same lines as me. He was just better at trying to hide his anger.

"Can you trust them? Isn't there a vampire in their ranks? How do we know he's not going to swap sides and join them again?" The more the girl talks the more confidence she seems to grow.

"Raphael Santiago has been trusted by the angels himself, they have given him the blood of the angel. He is no longer a vampire and his loyalty to his family is the reason he will not betray us." Max informed her. "If the angels think it was a good idea to bring him back then I'm going to trust them, is that not the safest way?" He asks and I can see all the Shadowhunter's in the room nod their heads. He was smart to play that card. I can already see that he is winning over the Nephilim.

"That may be true but you cannot be serious when talking about Jonathan Morgenstern? He is a murderer and deserves to be killed all over again for everything he has done." A surprisingly old warlock yells out from the back of the room. He looks like an old fashioned London gentleman, and I think I can be safe to say that those clothes were probably from London in the 1920's. They look faded and slightly threaded around the seems. He is also wearing a monocle, which tops off the whole granddad look he has going on.

"Yes, well that is something we have to discuss fully. Obviously there is something about the boy that the angels thing we can trust but I am yet to know what it is." Max looks over to me, as if asking for help. I know I can give it to him so I stand up from my seat, which is raised higher than everyone else so they can all see me. The man turns to look at me when I stand. From the fierce glare in his eye I can tell that he has lived through a lot, probably living through the war with both Valentine and Sebastian.

"Jonathan Morgenstern is a completely different man from the one you are referring to." I announce loudly. "The murderous man in question is named Sebastian. A boy born with pure demon blood running through his veins, this blood caused what seemed to be a whole other person inside poor Jonathan's body. Jonathan himself was trapped in some dusty old corner of his mind and he was unable to get out." I hear a mutter through the audience.

"That doesn't make any sense!" A bratty looking seelie with seaweed hair calls from where she sits next to a concerned looking werewolf boy, the boy leans away from her as if scared one of her seaweed locks would touch and kill him.

"It does make sense. Imagine being trapped in a small cage by the most ferocious and most evil demons you have ever come across. There is no way for you to break out of this cage without being captured by a demon, they have surrounded you like a tick velvet curtain that's weighed down by the heaviest metal's in the world." I paint them a mental picture. Some of them look unaffected whilst the others shiver. "That is what it was like for Jonathan Morgenstern, we cannot blame him for the crimes committed by Sebastian." I say and with one last nod at Max, I sit down again.

"Thank you, we will consider that at the end when we make our final decisions. Now, we have to discuss what to do with the returnee's." Max looks down at the paper laid on the desk in front of him, his eyes narrow slightly at the list. "Most of it's easy enough but then we have others such as Will Herondale to place." I feel my body tense at the name.

My eyes wander over to Catarina who looks just as confused as I do. Since when was Will back and how did I not know about it? Oh, wait...maybe I did.

Was this who Alexander was referring too when he mentioned the people he didn't know. If so, then this could get awfully complicated. I don't know what Will is going to think when it comes to our relationship, hell I don't know how he will react when he meets Alec, or the kids. I don't know what he will want out of this and I really hope he doesn't want to start off the same thing we had way back when.

Catarina looks concerned and I could understand why. She is probably thinking what I am thinking and I really don't need this right now. I remember how Alec used to be like whenever someone mentioned one of my past lovers, I know how much he hated Camille, but then again she was a bitch and everyone hated her. I just don't need any relationship drama right now, I only just got Alec back again.

I put my face in my hands, trying to ignore the conversations around me as they discuss what to do with Will and whoever else it was that returned. Catarina has placed a hand on my back and is trying to fill me in on what's happening but I'm not really listening to her anymore. The darkness that my hands provide me is a lot better than what I have to face when I pull them away.

What am I going to do when I see them? Should I go speak to him first so I can update him on my life before he finds out about Alec and the kids on his own. It would also help if I spoke to Alec about it first. That way he won't be so off guard if he comes face to face with the man himself.

The removal of Catarina's hand is what finally makes me look up from my hands.

When I look up, I see that she is standing tall and proud next to me. "Will and Michael can live with me." She states in a no nonsense voice.

What is she doing? And who in the world is Michael?

"Are you sure about this? You don't know them and it's going to be a lot to try and convince them this is real and to try and get them up to speed with everything that has changed since they died, which is a lot since they died so long ago." Max asks. He genuinely sounds concerned for Catarina. He also looks slightly confused that she would sign herself up for this when she would usually take the quieter jobs that just involved her healing the sick or injured.

"I know Will and he knows me, this is probably the best option. I have a bond with him that will make it easier when it comes to trying to teach him about all of this world. I should also have a catch up and a word with him, after all it has been so long since I last saw him." Catarina flicks her eyes down to mine and gives me a reassuring smile.

I understand what she is trying to tell me and I automatically know that the first thing I have to do when we get back is to go and talk to Alexander about all of this. He needs to be prepared from when he finally meet's Will. If he is staying with Catarina then there's no shadow of a doubt that they will meet sooner rather than later. I would rather Alexander was prepared before meeting him.

"If you are sure..." Catarina nods her head quickly, before the words have even finished coming out of Max's mouth. "Then that settles it, both Will Herondale and Michael Wayland will be placed under your care for the foreseeable future, until we can find another placement for them." Max writes something down then with a snap of his finger the paper flashes red and appears in Catarina's hand. I know it's a contract without even looking at it. She hardly pays any attention to it as she signs, she must know that Max wouldn't give her a contract that is unreasonable.

Once she has finished signing her name, the contact flashes red again before vanishing back over to Max. After that she sit's down again. I try to get her to look at me, I want to know what possessed her into doing this.

"Now onto the Lightwood's and co." Max glances down what must be a list of names. "I think our best option is to send them back to the New York institute, it's where they worked when they were alive before so I think it's best to send them to familiar territory. That and it is a highly populated city, we are going to need as many people there as we can." Max looks around to see if anyone disagrees, no one says anything. There is a certain air in the room that tells me that not everyone agrees with the decision, they just haven't decided to speak up about it.

"What about the likes of Raphael Santiago?" The werewolf representative asks. I notice a sneer in his voice when he speaks about Raphael, but it's probably only because of the whole use to be a vampire thing.

The way his face sits when talking about Raphael annoys me slightly and I feel the need to speak up about my friend.

"Raphael can be trusted to return to New York with the others, he has worked with them before and it will only make it more likely for him to do anything wrong if you separate him from his lover." I say directly to the wolf. He turns away from Max to look at me, his eyebrow raised.

"How can you be so sure of this Bane?" He asks, his eyes flashing green in almost a warning. Just to piss him off, I let the glamour in my eyes fall slightly, meeting his green ones for a moment, almost challenging him to try something.

"I have known Raphael for years, I was the one who trained him when he was first changed. I know how he works almost inside and out, so I know that he can be trusted with something like this." I say to him. It seems to sway him slightly but I can see some others still look a little wary. "Plus, I don't think he would even be interested in the going's on with the Vampires in New York. They act like animals and that's not his cup of tea." I wave my hand as if the idea of Raphael dealing with those animals who like to call themselves vampires. Raphael wouldn't have it and would probably kill all of those that acted stupid.

"I think it's best if Raphael stays with Simon Lewis. They shall both be going to the New York Institute, as will the Seelie Meliorn but he will be kept under guard, he will be forbidden to leave the institute until he can be trusted." Max doesn't seem to like Meliorn so much but I guess that can be expected after hearing the stories of the man. Isabelle used to speak of him fondly but Alec would always end up telling Max the truth about the man.

"What about the Warlock? Ragnor Fell?" Asks the same girl from the start of the meeting. "Will he return to the Institute?" She asks and is met by laughing from several older Warlocks who have lived long enough to know Ragnor. Catarina and I being part of those laughing.

"I highly doubt Ragnor will go quietly if he has to live in the Institute, it would be best for everyone if he was just allowed to go home, or at least stay with Magnus or I." Catarina speaks to Max.

"If you think that would be best, you have known him the longest." Max nods his head slightly.

"I do." Catarina confirms.

"Okay, that's that settled. That leaves Isabelle and Max Lightwood, Jace Herondale, Clarissa and Jonathan Fairchild, Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, the Seelie Meliorn, and Lydia Branwell all heading to the New York Institute." There is annoyed muttering coming from the audience when Max mentions Jonathan. "We will meet again here in exactly three months, this gives us time to keep an eye on Jonathan Fairchild and then to decide what his fate should be after thee months is up." Max stands up from his chair. "That will be all for today, we will start the process of moving everyone around tomorrow.

He moves to leave when a Shadowhunter boy yells to him. "What about Alec Lightwood and his other son?" He calls out and I realise that yes, Max did in fact forget to talk about his father.

"Isn't it obvious?" Max asks, as if he couldn't believe someone would actually have to ask. "They will be returning to the home of my father, Magnus Bane. They will only be allowed there and the Institute." Max informs them and I feel a leap in my stomach at the idea of finally being able to return home with Alexander and Rafael.

Max moves away from his chair so he could come over to us. "What do you think? Does it all sound right?" He asks even though it's probably a stupid question to ask, of course I was going to be okay with taking Alexander and Rafe home with me.

"You did a wonderful job dear, although I did forget to mention Raphael's wish to receive runes." I suddenly remember the whole argument that Raphael and Rafe had before we left to come here.

Max is silent for a moment as he thinks it over. I worry that he won't actually allow Raphael to use runes and I'm already thinking of arguments in Raphael's favour when Max speaks up again. "I mean I guess it will be okay, as long as we keep track of what he is using and why." Max thinks again for a moment. "There are some that I'm not too keen on him using, one of them being the anti-tracking rune." He motions for us to start walking.

Catarina walks slightly ahead of us to give us some privacy to talk. I follow beside Max as we exit the council room. As we walk towards the exit, Max and I nod our heads respectively at the people we pass, some of them look worried, others smile and wish us a good evening, whilst others just glance at us as we pass.

I chose to wait until we are outside before I speak up again. "I guess Raphael can live with that, and I can always ask Simon to keep us updated on what runes Raphael is using, he would probably be more than happy to help with that." I say as we start a leisurely stroll back to the house where everyone waits.

"Thank you Papa, that would be helpful." Max leans into me slightly, only just, as if he was testing the waters. To show him that it was okay, I sling my arm around his shoulders so I could pull him in close enough to kiss the side of his head.

"That's what fathers are for, my blueberry. I'm sorry if I haven't lived up to that role in the recent years." I sad sadly as I hold my boy close to me. It makes it harder to walk but it's worth it if I get to keep Max close to me.

"It's okay Papa, I understand. I missed Dad too but it was probably much harder for you." Max relaxes against my side as we continue to walk. We are almost at the house so I know I better get everything out in the open before I have to go in there and deal with the masses, and also to deal with the uncomfortable conversation I am no doubt going to have with Alexander about the return of Will.

"It doesn't excuse what I did Maxie, I will never forgive myself for abandoning you." I say softly and I hear him sigh against my shoulder.

"I know you won't papa but I'm not going to punish you because I'm not angry. If I find out you have been punishing yourself however, then I'll be mad." He jokes just as we arrive at the doorway to the house. "Are you, Dad and Rafe going to leave tonight?" He asks as he steps through the open door, Catarina must have left it open for us.

"I think it's best if we should, it would be harder to move if we all get too comfortable here, plus I wouldn't mind the privacy of being in my own home." I answer, closing the door behind me as I do.

"Will it be at the loft?" He asks, and if I was right, I could hear excitement in his voice. Max loved the loft and he would probably be excited if Alec and I lived there again. It was his childhood home so I completely understand why he likes it so much. I know I do, it is where I watched my two boys grow up and it's where I got to live my life with Alexander. There were so many good and bad memories in that loft, some of which happened before we even had the kids, or before I even knew the misfit Nephilim's that I grew to love so much.

"I think it would only be fitting if it were at the loft, that's where your room is, if you ever decide to visit that is." We both stop outside the kitchen door. I can hear voices in there and I don't doubt that it is Catarina informing the others on what happened. I want to finish my talk with Max before I have to face everyone else.

"Oh, I want to visit! It will be hard to do so until this annoying war is over, but I would like nothing more." Max beams at me and I can't help but be reminded of him as a small boy. He had the most infections smile, only two other people could make me smile the way Max does and that is his father and brother.

"Neither would I, and I'm going to hold you to that blueberry." I wink at him, a teasing grin slowly forms on my face.

"You can count on me Papa always... well actually, maybe not now. I'm tired and I would like to change out of these clothes, as per usual with Nephilim customs, this outfit is not the most comfortable." Max backs off slightly, towards the staircase that leads to other bedrooms upstairs.

"Go get changed, I'll deal with that lot in there and I'll see what there is for dinner." I motion for Max to make his way upstairs, he smiles and salutes me before turning around and jogging up the stairs to his room. I can't remember Max even staying here last night, I figured he went back to his home here. I guess I was a little too preoccupied last night to have actually noticed anyone really.

Once Max has vanished from sight I turn around so I could make my way into the kitchen. Everyone's eyes seem to be on me as soon as I stepped through the door. Usually I liked to steal all the attention but I didn't like all the stares I was getting from people. All of them apart from Catarina were just begging me for answers using just their eyes.

"What a welcome." I say sarcastically as I cross over to the fridge to see what food there was. I was hoping my comment would lessen their stares but that doesn't seem to be the case, everyone is just sitting there waiting patiently for me to speak again. Well everyone is patient apart from Raphael, but then again the guy can never be patient.

Thankfully Alec decides to break the silence by walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. "Mag's, what happened at the meeting?" He asks as he turns us both around to face the other people currently in the room with us.

"Well my darling, you and Rafe are coming home with me, back to Brooklyn." I lean my head back until it rests against his chest. "Ragnor will be staying with Catarina along with Will and Michael... we will talk about that later." I say quickly when I feel his body tense at the name Will. Before he could even begin to try talking about it, I move on to the rest. "Everyone else will be returning to home ground in New York. Meliorn you will be monitored by a guard until the council decides if we can trust you or not." Isabelle looks slightly annoyed at this but she doesn't say anything, she should be happy that he was even allowed to go to the Institute in the first place after what he pulled.

"That seems fair, what about Raphael? is he allowed runes?" Alec asks before things could get even more tense.

"Yes, he is allowed them, but only certain ones. We want to monitor the ones you are using until you have finished your training." I tell him and surprisingly he doesn't argue back on this.

"This all sounds reasonable, did they say anything about Jonathan?" Clary asks before resting a hand on her brothers arm. He tenses slightly at the touch for a moment but he seems to calm when he realises it's just Clary.

"As you can understand, they weren't too fond of the idea of him being back but I tried my best to convey that he is not the same person, I know how much this means to you Clary so I did what I could do to make this happen. He will be allowed to go to the Institute with you" I tell her, a smile grows on her face and I think I manage to see a small smirk coming from Jonathan, but then he hides it again.

"Thank you so much Magnus, you have no idea how much this means to me." Clary looks like she wants to come over to hug me but I don't imagine Alexander is going to be letting go of me for a while so she just settles with a large smile.

"It's no problem dear, now if no one has any complaints I would like to take my fiancÃ©e and son home." I suggest, I look over at Rafe. He was sitting quietly looking through a book that someone had left on the table. He clearly wasn't listening to what was going on. "Rafe!" I call over to him and it makes him jump slightly in fright. He calms down when he sees me though.

"Oh, sorry Papa. Did you say something?" He asks before pushing the book away from him. I laugh slightly at his startled appearance.

"I was suggesting that your father and you should come back to Brooklyn with me tonight?" I ask and his eyes light up at the idea. Rafael never really liked Alicante that much. No one ever knew why but I remember when he was younger, he used to pitch a fit whenever we had to go and he used to always end up crawling into bed with Magnus and I because he couldn't sleep here.

"Can we please?" He asks, I can almost feel the relief pouring out of him at the idea of going home. Although I feel like we'll need to spend some time cleaning and re organizing the loft a little bit as it has been a while since I was last there.

With that thought in mind, I mentally send a spell to the loft to make sure all the dust or whatever else has grown there over time, has been removed. The last thing we need is to return home to a mouldy loft.

"Absolutely, well, if it's okay with your father?" I leave the question in the air but the only response I get is a brief hum against my neck and a small nod of the head from Alec.

"You would think he was still a five year old." Isabelle comments, she is looking between us all with a smile on her face.

Isabelle was always really close to Rafael and I wonder if it's because she never had children of her own. Her and Simon just didn't seem to have the time to settle down and have kids, and they preferred to be the more sociable out of the bunch of us. Well Isabelle was the more sociable one and Simon just went along for the ride.

Maybe thing's have changed now, maybe she and Meliorn might look into having kids one day. Maybe everyone might have a child or two. Jace and Clary had a daughter but it seems like she didn't make the cut when it came to picking out heaven's best soldiers. I feel bad for them, I couldn't imagine what it would feel like if Rafael didn't make it. I don't know if they will ever have another child because of this. I seriously doubt Raphael would want to adopt a child with Simon. I can imagine Simon wanting a baby but never Raphael

"I still see him as a five year old." Alec pulls back from me slightly but he continues to keep his arms around me. "I'll never stop seeing him as a five year old, even though he looks about twenty." I nod my head in agreement. No matter what age Rafael is, there is still certain things that he does that reminds me of him as a toddler.

"I would rather you didn't, and I am over eighty years old." Rafael pouts.

"Yes well your father is over five hundred years old and I still see him as a child sometimes." Ragnor helpfully informs from where he is sitting. Rafe grins brightly at that little piece of information he was just given.

"We call all agree that your personality matches your age, that's why you see anyone younger than you as a child." Catarina fires back with a cheeky smile. I grin at their antics, it all feel's so familiar and I have missed it greatly, but what I have missed and what I want the most is to go home.

"C'mon," Alec leans in to kiss the side of my neck softly. "Let's go home." He holds me tightly.

"I couldn't agree more." I whisper back before sinking into his embrace.

I can always count on Alexander to know what I need. How I ever lived without him is a complete mystery to me, but at least I don't have to anymore.

I get to be with him forever.


	11. Hymn of The Home

 

**Hymn of The Home-**

**Magnus:**

I really do hate opening portals between Alicante and home. They are such a distance from each other so it takes twice the effort to open the portal in the first place.

It's even worse that today I have to make two portals. One for Alexander, Rafael and myself, then the other one for all those who are to return to the Institute. I hate to admit that I might have to take some strength from Alexander for the second one, as I do have to save some energy to sort the mess that the loft must be in.

Cleaning it by hand just won't do for what it must be like. And I refuse to keep the same furniture we currently have. I already have an exact idea of what I want, so it's best for me to keep my energy up for now, at least until the bedrooms and bathroom is done. I'm sure we could wait for the rest.

"Magnus, are you ready? The Institute is ready and waiting for our arrival?" Isabelle pokes her head into mine and Alexander's room. I had been sent there by Catarina to rest up before I had to go through the process of making two portals. She did offer to help me but I knew she had to make one for herself and those going with her.

I had declined her help so she made me promise to come around and visit her and Ragnor. I obviously said I would because A. I wanted to see her and Ragnor and B. I wanted to have a talk with Will, to see how he was doing with all of this going on.

"Yes, yes I'll come now." I push myself up from the bed. "I was bursting to get out of here anyway, I didn't need as much rest as you all suggested, as long as Alexander is there to help me when I need it." I link my arm with hers as we walk down the hallway towards the main room where everyone is waiting.

When I get into the room, the first thing I notice is the nervous look on Raphael's face. He had never really been into the Institute before and there is no doubt he is going to be met with several people who don't trust him and the fact he used to be the head of the vampire clan. I know he is going to hide it with his usual snark and moodiness, but I know him well enough that I can see through him.

It's clear Simon can too, by the way he is holding tightly onto Raphael's hand and also whispering something gently to him. I feel bad for looking into their private moment so I turn my attention onto my son and lover.

"Alexander, come here please." I ask as I let go of Isabelle, I use that arm to hold out a hand towards him.

"What for?" He asks but he comes over without fight, Rafael follows behind him.

"I said to you before that this is going to be pretty taxing on my energy so I may need to borrow some of yours... if that's okay?" I ask hesitantly, also pulling my hand away slightly just in case he is not okay with this.

Alec blinks and stares at me like I had asked the most stupid thing in the world. "Of course I'm okay with it, do you think I would really let you put strain on yourself like that when I know I can help?" He scoffs at the idea of it then reaches out to take my hand. "Take what you need." He then adds and a small flutter of warmth runs over my body as I am reminded of the first time he helped me do this. That was when I really started to feel something for the man.

Huh, look where it got me in the end.

"I can help too Papa, if you need it!" Rafael almost seems excited by the idea. God he sometimes reminded me of an excited puppy, it was very endearing and sweet.

"I think that's a good idea Magnus," Catarina throws out. "You have an emotional connection to both of them so it will make things much easier for you." She nods at the both of them. Rafael nods his head along with her words before reaching out to wrap a hand around my arm, he was smart enough to know I would need my hand.

"That, and you need to make sure I actually have a room to sleep in tonight." Rafael comments, seeming deep in thought. "I don't want to end up sleeping on the floor."

I mock gasp. "You really thing I would let my own child sleep on the floor..." I say in mock hurt. Rafael looks confused and guilty for a second before speaking.

"See then you will need to make me a-"

I cut him of before he could say anything else. "I would at least offer you a couch." I say which makes him come up short. Alec laughs from beside me and I feel his spare hand come up and start tracing patterns on the hand he is currently holding.

"Ha ha, very funny Papa." Rafael deadpans.

I lean over to kiss the side of his head. "You know I wouldn't do that to you Rafe, your room will be the first one I work on." I promise him which seems to do the job in cheering him up.

"Thank you Papa." He beams then holds on tighter to my arm. This boy has me wrapped around his little finger without me really realizing it.

"Mags, I think we should get a move on with this." Alec leans in to say to me.

I suddenly remember the task at hand and that there are people waiting on me. I don't feel guilty for making them wait, I will treasure every moment I have with my son now that he is back. They are not the ones who had to live without their loved ones for years, I should be allowed to make them wait just that little bit longer.

  
"Fine, fine." I say before closing my eyes and bringing forth my magic from within. A sudden burst from my core brings enough magic forward, and with the thought of the New York Institute in my mind, the portal suddenly appears in front of everyone. "Those who are going to the Institute can go through now." I say to them.

Everyone starts flocking towards the portal. A couple of them go in one at a time, like Jace and Isabelle, but then you got those like Clary and her brother, going in at the same time. Simon and Raphael are the last to go through.

Simon gently pulls Raphael towards the portal, he seems hesitant now that it's time to actually go through with it. As Simon approaches the portal, Raphael turns back to look at me.

In that moment I'm reminded of when I first met Raphael. Scared and disgusted with himself, I had to save him and bring him back to a sense of sanity in his new life. I coached him through training and guided him through dealing with what he was and how it was okay, that he was okay.

He was like a son to me, and to see him as worried as he looked now, hurt slightly. I wanted to be there for him so badly, but I also had to be there for my family.

"It's okay, you'll be fine." I say to him because I know he needs it, he needs just that little bit of support.

I look to Simon just as he tears his eyes away from Raphael to look at me. We share a look of understanding and I know that Simon will be there to look out for Raphael now that I'm not. I just hope he could do a better job that Raphael did when Simon was first turned.

That would be a disaster.

With one last nod at me, Raphael steels himself before taking the last step through the portal, roughly pulling Simon in behind him.

"That was dramatic." Ragnor comments from where he is lounging against one of the long sofa's in the corner. He was holding a book in his hand that he seemed to be showing off to Will, who looked less than excited about said book.

"Oh, shut up old man." I say fondly before sparing a glance at Alec and Rafe, letting them silently know that I'm going to pull some of their energy now.

"Wait! Are we not going to say goodbye to Max?" Rafael asks then looks around the room a if he were expecting Max to appear from thin air.

"He couldn't make it today, I saw him at breakfast, hurrying out to some meeting that seemed pretty important. He didn't say much apart from that he would visit when he could." Alec tells him. I see Rafe's face fall at the news.

"Don't worry Rafe, your father and I are not that bad for company, and you can go to the Institute whenever you like." I tell him before awkwardly reaching up to pat his hand that is still resting on my arm.

"Cool! I want to spend more time with Uncle Max, perhaps I'll be the one to teach him how to cook," Rafe shakes his head. "I don't trust Aunt Isabelle to do it." He shudders, making Alec laugh loudly.

"I'm sure he would love that Rafe, he was young back then but even he agreed that Izzy couldn't cook." Alec smiles at us both.

"Right," I say before gently tugging some energy from the both of them. "I think it's time we return home." I say before propelling my magic forward again, and with a snap of my fingers, another portal has popped into existence.

"I expect to see you seen Magnus." Catarina says it nicely enough but I can hear her warning tone. I know I won't have much of a choice.

"Yes, Catarina. Have fun dealing with that old coot... don't let him bore your guests to death." I smirk at Michael and Will, Michael just stares at me whilst Will actually smiles. It is amazing how much he looks like Alexander- no, don't go down that road.

"Don't you worry about a thing Bane." Cat answers before sending a quick glare at Ragnor. "I've learned how to deal with him by this point." She then adds, Ragnor looks up at her with a smile. He was clearly unfazed by her words.

"I'll see you soon Ragnor." I say then I am pulling Alexander towards the portal.

His hand is still in mine and he doesn't seem to be letting it go. Rafael on the other hand has walked ahead of us, meaning he is the first to go through. I'm happy I don't have to see his initial reaction the loft. I'll just deal with the teasing that comes after.

Both Alexander and I walk into the portal, and with a faint tugging sensation to my stomach, we find ourselves inside the loft.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

We find Rafael standing in the middle of the room, where their used to be very comfortable sofa's, designed for a more elderly Alec to be comfortable.

In fact, most of the stuff in this room and most likely every other room, was designed to make Alec's life a lot easier.

"It's like an old folks home in here." Rafael comments then snickers. "God, I can't imagine Dad being old enough to need half of this stuff."

Alec lets go of my hand before venturing further into the room.

The place really hasn't changed at all since he was last here. Almost everything was in the last place he put them, down to where he placed his book and reading glasses the night before he d-died.

"I didn't want to move anything." I comment when I see Alec pick up said book and glasses. The book still had the last page he was on, turned down in the corner. "I thought that if I did then it-," I stop because a sudden lump build in my throat. "-then you would really be gone." I find that I can't seem to make any more words come out of my mouth.

Rafael looks slightly awkward at the sudden sadness in the room. He looks between Alec and I, a strange look on his face as he tries to place his father ever being as old as I am making it out to be. Imagining a world where his fathers were no longer together.

He died before Alec reached that point in his life where he became too sick to carry on being a Shadowhunter. He died before he had to see the pain Alec went through when he sat by Jace's bedside whilst he died right in front of his eyes, he wasn't around to see the parabatai mark fade from his skin, to see the light fade from his fathers eyes.

I'm glad he wasn't. I'm glad that my baby didn't have to see his father like that.

It was bad enough that Max had to see it, then continue to life for several decades later with those horrible last couple years of Alec's life, being the freshest memories he had.

Alec did try. I knew how he hated that Max had to see him that way. That he didn't have the energy he once had to be there whilst Max continued with his advanced magic training. He was barely strong enough to attend the meal we had to celebrate Max's first serious girlfriend. He fought through it though, and he sure made a lasting impression on that lovely girl.

I remember speaking to her after, I remember she cried and thanked me for allowing her to be a part of Max's life, to be a part of My life and Alexander's. She called him strong and an amazing father and that she was even sorry that her being there made him hurt himself. I tried to console her, to let her know that this is the kind of thing that Alec wanted to be a part of, to have in his memories for the long and painful nights he so often suffered.

"Magnus?" A warm hand rests on my cheek. I come back to myself and into the present, the thoughts of the past are fleeting away as I meet the eyes of the man in front of me.

They are no longer faded like they were before he died. There was that light that sparkled in them, youthful and almost innocent, no matter what they had already seen. It was like he was born again, and he came with the innocence that his life stole from him when it tore away the other half of his soul, and when he has to watch everyone he loved die, including a child. It was the same light that I had to fight to keep almost every single day of my life. I refuse to let it fade, no matter what the years have done to me. Alexander was that light and I refused to let it die out, even when he wasn't around to turn it on anymore.

"I'm fine, everything is just hitting me now." I move my gaze from his eyes to look at the spot where Alec's book and glasses once sat, now they had moved. The spot where they had once been, almost show the glory of the grand table underneath the book, the glory it once had when I was around to care for it.

"Hitting you?" Alec asks before wrapping one arm around my waist, he uses his other hand to pull up my chin so I am looking into his eyes again. I feel so much better when I am looking at them and not the graveyard of the life we used to have all those years ago.

"You being here." I tell him and his eyes soften slightly. He pulls me close to his chest, rests his hand on the back of my head whilst balancing his cheek just above the hand. "It never hit me until now. Until I saw all of this. The life we lived before you died, and how it died with you. It makes me feel sick looking at everything and how all the memories and possessions we had just... ended. It's partly my fault and I feel like... I could've stopped it, like I could've stopped you dying if I just tried a little harder-"

Alec jerks back to look at me. "No. Magnus baby, you can't think that way... I know that you tried, I felt how long you tried to keep me alive because I remember everything from that day and it still haunts me... so don't you dare go down that path." I feel my mouth drop open.

Alec remembered dying.

"You rem-"

"Every single unbearable second. Hearing you and Max say goodbye to me was probably the worst thing that has ever EVER happened to me." Alec stroked my cheek. "But it's okay now because we're together now, all four of us, and nothing will take that away, not again. We can start again baby, but we will never forget what we had before because what we had before gave us so much that we are to be thankful for, our son's being one of them." He leans down to kiss my forehead softly.

At that I lean around him to peek at Rafe. He had his back to us and was currently poking through the bookshelf next to the windows.

I smile before turning back to look at Alec. "You're right, Alexander. You are so right and I think we should start again...but there is something I want to do that we could never do before." I blink up at him, anticipation now gripping my stomach tightly.

"Anything." He rests his forehead against mine.

"Well, it wasn't allowed before you died and it's only been a thing in recent years but... I want to get married." I say nervously.

Alec chuckles softly against my lips. "And here I was thinking of a way to ask you." His nose gently touches mine briefly before his lips are pressing against mine. "So yes, I think it's about time we get married. We've been waiting more than a couple of decades to do so." He whispers against my lips as he pulls back enough to rest his head against mine again.

"I love you Alexander." I look up until I can look into his eyes, probably making them squint slightly but I don't care right now.

"I love you too Magnus." He kisses me again.

"Can you please remember that I'm right here and that there's only so much a guy can do whilst ignoring his dad's make out session?" I laugh against Alec's lips before stepping back out from his embrace.

"Sorry Rafe, I'll get back to business." I say, then I turn to the entire room. I'm ready to just pack this all up are start fresh.

As blue flames start budding in my hands I feel Rafe and Alec come to stand behind me, Alec's hand rests on the small of my back in comfort.

With that I start on building the structure of my new life.


	12. Never Grow Up

 

**Never Grow Up-**

**Alec:**

Having the loft clean and brand new seems to make Magnus feel a lot better than he did before. With the small memories that littered the house, packed away safe or banished, he allowed himself to relax. The décor was similar to that of the design of the loft that he had when I first met him, I think this was a fail-safe for him. It was a way to start fresh but to still be familiar and to still have a sense of the home he craved with Max, Rafael and me.

Rafe seemed happier now that he actually had a room that was not covered in dust, rust, and cobwebs. The little bits of his life that sat in that room, even after he died, have now either been cleaned up or stored away with the rest of the memories Magnus wanted to keep but not look at right away. There was quite a lot of them as when Rafe died, we refused to get rid of his room. We didn't want to take it away or to change it because it was all we had left of our little boy. I think most of the reason Magnus wanted to keep it was because I needed it, at that point, I had started to get unwell and I would spend lots of my time in that room. Magnus also wanted to keep it there because that was the first child he had ever lost and he didn't want to risk any chance of forgetting that little boy of ours. He would even go as far as to make sure he would go in every day and clean as if he were just waiting for Rafe to come home from a mission or a date.

Even now, Magnus wasn't too fond of letting Rafe go far and spent a lot of time with him. I think it's because he still feels horrible about the fact that he didn't even get to say goodbye to Rafe before he died as he was busy when he received the call from him. I remember holding Magnus for days as neither of us left the bed, both of us grieving the loss of our son.

Walking through the new and improved hallways of the new loft, it's still hard to believe that this house used to be different. No matter how many times Magnus' changes the place, I can still see all the little nooks and cranny's that hold special meaning or memories.

I can still see that seven-year-old Rafe running around in his fuzzy pajama's, slipping in his socked feet as he pretended to run away from a toddling two-year-old Max. Or in the corner just by the window, where the Christmas tree sits every Christmas, the place that Magnus and I would sit next to each other as we watched our children cry out in joy and hug the closest family member to them as they opened their gifts. I can still see the moment that Rafe opened his first bow and arrow, given him to by Izzy and Jace for his 9th birthday. He cried and demanded that I took him out onto the snowy balcony to practice whilst his Papa and Aunty Clary made dinner for everyone else.

I smile at that memory, as it was the first time that Rafe managed to stop Isabelle sneaking into the kitchen to try to help with the food. It was an accident and Rafe felt bad for it after he done it, but he managed to shoot his first arrow right into the doorframe that Isabelle was standing next to. He cried after he did it, but Isabelle was more impressed with the fact that he had managed to shoot it so well the first time. She didn't even care that she could've been hurt by it. She spent the next two hours comforting him and trying to let him know that it was okay and that she had been through worse whilst I was training to use the bow, including an arrow to the shoulder that took a whole month to heal properly, she always held that against me because that was when she was first due to learn how to use a whip, but she had to wait until her shoulder was better before she was allowed back into training. Rafe found it pretty funny and after that he was more than okay to get back to practicing with me, always looking at Isabelle and me whenever he hit the targets Magnus had created for him., his face shining and he beamed at the cheers we gave him.

I look over to that corner now, to see that there is a fireplace there now. Along the top of the fireplace sits all of our family photos and photos of Magnus's friends such as Cat, Tessa and a very old photo of Ragnor that Magnus is no doubt going to try and replace now that he can get a new and improved version of it.

I head over to look at the rest of the photo's now, something is pulling me over there, a strange feeling that is telling me that something is wrong and that I need to fix it. I don't know what it is, but the feeling is so powerful that I know that it's probably something important.

Once I am standing in front of the fire, I see that nothing seems to be wrong or out of place. All the pictures are just how I remembered them to be. The Picture of Jace, Isabelle, and me are sitting next to the picture of Max's second birthday with Magnus and I standing with the three kids. The picture of Ragnor is-

Three kids.

My eyes jerk back to the picture from Max's birthday and suddenly the feeling I had makes sense.

Madzie.

How had she not come to mind before? How could I have seriously forgotten my daughter? Did she even know that we were all back? I hadn't heard anything from her, and Magnus hadn't mentioned anything about her since we had been back.

If he lost contact with Max then did that mean that he had also lost contact with Madzie?

"...Alexander!" A loud clicking in front of my face brings me back from my mental spiral. I realize that I had been breathing harshly as I continued to stare down at the birthday photo, my face had begun to get very hot but the rest of my body stayed cold.

Realizing that there was still someone behind me, I turn to see Magnus standing there, watching me with one raised eyebrow whilst his eyes shine with worry and confusion, Rafe stands not too far behind him, looking just as confused as his father.

"Are you okay Dad? You looked like you were about to explode." Rafe comes forward to rest a hand on my arm whilst Magnus takes hold of my hand. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows something really is wrong, and I also know that he would worry himself sick until I told him what the problem was.

"I was just- where is Madzie?" I ask Magnus, Rafe freezes at me side then turns to look at Magnus who in turn just looks down at the floor. I try to get a look at his face, trying to see if he had the same ashamed look on his face that he has when I found out about what happened between him and Max.

But I'm surprised when Magnus looks up, looking slightly tired. "Oh, she went off to the spiral labyrinth when she realized that you had died. She was too upset to spend too much time in New York because she didn't get the chance to say goodbye." Magnus flicks his eyes to Rafael, in a way that says that he knows exactly how she felt. "I think she's living in London right now, at my apartment there. She comes back from time to time to visit me and I guess she visited Max."

"Does she know that we are back? Did anyone tell her?" Rafael asks then his eyes flick to the contraption Magnus calls a phone. I hadn't used anything like it so I couldn't think of trying to use it to contact her myself.

"No. If I'm being honest I forgot about it in all of the commotions." Magnus looks guilty. "We only have little communication now due to the war. She doesn't want to be involved, her ex-boyfriend is one of the head vampires on their side, fighting against us so it didn't really last for them, but after forty years of dating... she's taking it pretty hard." I feel a rush of sadness goes through me at the story. All I wanted to do now was be there for my little girl, the need to protect her had always been strong, especially after all that went down that night that Valentine stormed the Institute. The clave wasn't too fond of her after that, even though she was only four years old and was being manipulated. They couldn't look past the fact that she was a Downworlder. lucky for us, the Clave was impressed with how I handled the aftermath of the attack and allowed me a brief period of time to show that she wasn't dangerous.

At first I thought that Catarina would be the best option for her, but after living with her for three years, it was clear that Madzie would be better off living with Magnus and me, as Catarina was very busy and never really had anyone to take over watching her that wasn't Magnus or me, sometimes it would even be one of my sibling or Clary or Simon. We thought it would be best for us to just bring her into our home, well after a long battle against the clave first. Of course, they weren't happy that I wanted to adopt a warlock child, but after everything that happened with Sebastian, no one was very fond of creating any problems with the Downworlders, who were far more open to the idea than the Nephilim.

"-Someone needs to tell her! She has no idea that her whole family is alive." Rafe stomps over to Magnus' phone, picking it up and beginning to press the screen of the thing as he tried to understand how the hell to use it. He wasn't having much luck and, despite the situation, I see Magnus' lip quirk up in a half smile.

"Do you want me to do it for you?" Magnus asks after a short moment of watching him struggle with the phone. Rafe just huffs like the five-year-old we first met him as before handing the phone to Magnus with a small glare that Magnus just laughs at.  
  
Magnus doesn't call her like I expected him to, he just fires off a quick message to her. I don't know what he says but the small ping that he receives back almost seconds after makes him smile so I guess everything is okay with them.

After replying to whatever she said, he puts his phone away so he could focus on us again. "I think it best if you went to another room... just until I tell her what happened, the last thing I want is to just throw this all on her after all this time." Magnus looks sad for a moment before turning to fully face Rafael. "Visit your brother? let him know what's going on and see if he can make it here for a while, it might make your sister feel better to have him here." Magnus clicks his fingers and a portal suddenly appears in the nearest doorway.

"On it, consider it done Papa." Rafael mock salutes Magnus before taking a step through the portal.

Magnus then turns and pulls me into a hug. "I'm so sorry I didn't say anything until now." He mumbles into my chest. "I was just so caught up in how happy I was to have you back- I'm a horrible father." Magnus' voice has that little watery edge to it that I have come to recognize as the voice he uses when he is about to cry.

I push him back only slightly, using one hand to push up his chin up enough so he is looking into my eyes. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again," I say before kissing him softly. "You are an amazing father, you have just had some difficult times and you handled it the way you know best... remember how I met you? the life you have now is so different to what it used to be and that's because you allowed yourself to have it. When I died, you lost what you allowed yourself to have and for that, you felt the need to punish yourself and no one blames you for it... I don't blame you for it." A tear makes it's way out of his eye and I lift my thumb just in time to wipe it away before it can fall off his face.

"Madzie is going to be annoyed when she finds out I didn't think to tell her." Magnus points out and, I agree that she won't be happy that she wasn't told straight way but she loved this family and she wouldn't hold it against him long, especially when she see's how bad he feels about it all.

I stroke my thumb over his cheekbone, "There's no way she'll stay mad at you long. You two are incredibly close and have been since you met her... she didn't just trust anyone Magnus." I point out, remembering what Madzie was like with all the other people she met that wasn't Clary, Magnus or me... half of them ended up dead.

But that wasn't her fault and no matter what she thinks, I will never allow her to think otherwise.

Magnus only sighs. "How did I ever live without you Alexander, you've been back for only a couple of days yet you have managed to make me feel better about things I worried and felt guilty about for over seventy years." He shakes his head then looks at me with a fond expression on his face. "I love you." He states simply.

I grin before shrugging slightly. "I guess I love you too," I say nonchalantly as if it was just a passing emotion and not something that takes over my entire being when I think about it.

"Worst fiancée ever." Magnus pouts, it's the same pout that Rafe just used so I guess we know where he got that from.

"I'm just kidding, you know I love you with my entire heart- I would say soul but I don't think Jace likes to share." I joke before pressing my forehead to his, wanting to be closer to him all of a sudden.

"Well... at least I no longer have to share your heart with him." Magnus jibes and it's a pretty low blow to the beginning of our relationship.

I would've said something but it was in that moment that a familiar voice runs through the loft. "Papa? Are you here?" It was Madzie.

"Go!" Magnus whisper-yells  at me before pushing me into the dining room and closing the large panel doors that attach the room to the living room.

Despite Magnus pulling it shut properly so Madzie wouldn't see me, I can't help but pull it open just a crack because I needed to see her. I needed to make sure she was as okay as Magnus said she was.

And it seems he was telling the truth.

I watch as she walks in and is smothered in a hug by Magnus, catching her off guard as he almost sweeps her off her feet. "Papa! are you okay? What are you doing back here...?" She looks around the room from where her face is pressed against his shoulder. "You told me you would never come back here."

A low pain builds in my stomach as I am reminded of the pain Magnus had to go through whilst I was dead. I never really stopped to think how hard this must actually be for him to be here. Did he even want to be here? did he feel forced to return because it was the place Rafe and I always saw as our home? Surely Magnus must have somewhere else in the world that he now considers home. After all, It had been a very long time and as much as he was still in pain from losing us, he did move on with his life and probably has another life now.

"This is our home baby, I'll never not come back here... but this has something to do with why I wanted to see you," Magnus tells her then gently sets her back down on her feet.

Madzie sends him a look that is filled with worry. "Is Maxie okay? did something happen with the vamps?... was it Finn?" Madzie's voice shook as she asked the last part.

Magnus quickly puts his hands to her face, shaking his head quickly. "No, it's nothing to do with him so don't you worry about him princess. She calms down then and allows Magnus to guide her over to one of the large sofa's that are now part of Magnus' new design of the place. They go quite well with the rustic look he's interpreted into the modern vibe.

With a snap of his fingers, Madzie's favorite drink is sitting in front of her, making her grin at Magnus in that childlike way that she never lost as she got older. "So what's going on Papa? I haven't seen you so happy in such a long time." She asks before taking a large gulp of the gingerbread latte that she was so fond of. She never really saw the thing as a seasonal drink like the rest of us did, I believe it to be Clary's fault as she was the one who introduced a fourteen-year-old Madzie to the drink as the three of us went Christmas shopping.

"Something has happened, involving the war... it's nothing bad so don't worry." Magnus takes the drink out of her hand and sets it on the table so he could take her hands. "We were contacted by the angels." He states right off the bat.

Madzie gasps slightly. "W-what? but that hasn't happened in decades! Who did it?" Madzie asks as she turns eagerly in her seat, looking like a gossiping teenager. She could still be classed as a teenager as she did stop aging at nineteen.

"No one," Magnus tells her then continues on with the explanation before she could start asking more questions. "They didn't want the Nephilim race to run out, as they are dropping like flies against the vamps. So they decided to give us a gift that will help us win." Magnus tells her and her mouth drops open.

"That- that's insane Papa! I've never heard of the angels wanting to help just because they are slightly worried that the Shadowhunter's might die out... I mean hasn't that happened like a hundred times before?" She asks and I couldn't help but agree with her. Where were the angels when it came to the destruction and death toll that Sebastian created when he died. All of those Shadowhunter's that died because of the drink he made them take, where were they then when we spent a solid three years trying to build up our numbers again.

I push those thoughts to the side, they are not important for the moment. All I needed to focus on was what Magnus was saying to our daughter.

"I know. I've been alive for over five hundred years and I've never seen the angels give anything without getting something in return. But this time they did and it's something I never thought I would have again." Magnus looks close to tears again and it takes everything inside me to not just run out and bundle him up in my arms so he would no longer feel the pain.

"Papa? Yours scaring me now... what did they give us?" She asks, gripping Magnus's hands tighter, her eyes growing wide when he notices the tears in her father's eyes.

"Well, princess-"

Loud bickering suddenly comes from the hallway, cutting Magnus off from telling Madzie that her dead family is now alive again.

"...That was so not my fault!" Max's voice rings out throughout the loft.

"Oh, sure. Since when did I have control over the portals? seriously Maxie, how could I have made the mistake when you were the one that created the portal?" Rafael's voice comes next.

My eyes flicker to Madzie, who had turned in her seat to look in the direction of the voices. I couldn't see her face so that means I missed out on her reaction to Rafael and Max walking into the room.

"Papa, as you can see I have completed my task, a little later than what I wanted but Max here ended up taking us to Ireland." Rafe glares at his brother before stopping when he realizes Madzie was there.

Max laughs at the little exchange now going on between Rafe and Madzie. "Looks like your plan of surprising her failed there big bro, " Max comments before walking further into the room to plop down on an armchair.

"What is happening?" Madzie asks when she finally tears her gaze away from Rafael, to look back at Magnus.

"The angels." Is all Magnus answers before Madzie is almost tumbling off the sofa in order to yank Rafe into a hug.

"Oh my god! They brought back my baby brother?" Madzie cries into Rafe's shoulder as the boy, in turn, hugs her back, tightly as he could.

"I guess they did Maddie" Rafe laughs as he strokes her hair. "And no, I'm not the only one," Rafe answers her unasked question before she could even think about asking it. "A whole bunch of us are back, which means our whole family and some of Papa's friends." He informs her before beckoning Max over to the hug, clearly feeling like it was what Madzie needed in that moment.

Max almost jumps up from his seat as he crosses the room to join his sibling's tight hug. The sight has tears building in my eyes and has my body moving to silently open the door without really thinking about it.

"I love the angels! I will never ever say anything bad about them again!" Madzie sobs into Rafe's jumper. Max just laughs at her little confession, before moving to wipe the tears from her skin, leaving dark streaks on his blue hands.

"They brought them back to help us fight... they gave them all a promise of safety and protection for their families. They even gave them immortality." Magnus tells her, his own voice thick with tears as he watches the moment between our children.

"Does that mean that Rafe won't die again?" Madzie looks to Magnus, eyes hopeful and a little bloodshot from the crying.

"Well, not for a while at least," Magnus answers and it's enough to make her sag in relief against her brothers as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"Especially if I have something to say about it," I say without noticing that I had.

Madzie's head snaps around to look at me.

It takes her less than a second to realize who I was before her hands were coming up to cover her mouth and fresh tears were falling down her cheeks.

"Dad... oh my god..." Madzie blindly untangles herself from her brother's arms before slowly and carefully walking towards me. "They brought you back too?" Her lip wobbles as she brings up a hand to touch my arm as if making sure I was really there.

"It's me, princess... I'm really back." I said before letting go of any restraints and pulling her into a fierce hug. "You're so grown-" My voice gets choked as I try to express to her just how much I loved her. All the thoughts I have had after finding out how she had felt about not getting to say goodbye to me, and the fact that she is suffering deep heartbreak.

"I can't believe this- what, like how..."

"We're all asking the same thing." Magnus' voice sounds from beside me.

I look to see that he and the boys have surrounded us as if waiting for the moment that they could join the hug.

They shouldn't even have to wait.

I uncurl one arm from Madzie so I could wrap it around Magnus, pulling him close so I could kiss the top of his head. Max and Rafael jumped in next, Rafe ducking under the arm wrapped around Madzie so that it was now around the both of them, Max does the same to the side Magnus was on.

It's something we used to do when they were children, it was a lot easier then but there was nothing I could imagine to be more appropriate in this moment.

"I love you all so much," I whisper as I hold my family close, my head falling against Magnus's forehead as I bask in the feeling of being here with him, out family feeling completely 100% complete.

Right now, in this moment, I could forget that there was a very dangerous war going on outside our doorstep.

For now, I had my family and that was all that mattered.


	13. New Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to point out that I am personally not Asexual and I don't want to offend anyone. I get that some people probably don't agree or feel the same about what I have written about, but I got my inspiration from a friend who is Asexual and feels like kissing someone doesn't necessarily have anything to do with any sort of sexual situations. She see's it as a sign of love towards someone. So I decided to use her views for Raphael when it comes to Simon. Again I am sorry if you don't agree, but everyone has their own opinions and ideas, so I would like to respect as many as I can in my stories. So please no hate when it comes to this, if you have any major problems with what I have written, please let me know calmly and I will respectively try to avoid offending anyone in the future. So please just let me know as it's hard to write about this kind of subject without offending someone and I would like to try and avoid it as much as possible. Thank You! x

 

**Chapter Thirteen- New Man**

**Simon:**

The Institute hadn't changed much since we had died, well since I had died. To some of the others in our group, I'm betting it had changed a lot.

Raphael and Meliorn seemed to be two of those who were most awed by the change to the place as they hadn't seen it in over one hundred years. They probably didn't even understand what half of the technology was, then again I didn't know half of the technology and I wasn't even going to go near it just yet.

Once we had all crossed the portal to the other side and landed in the Institute, we found ourselves face to face with the new head of the Institute, Marissa Branwell, the great-granddaughter of Lydia and one of the only Shadowhunter's I knew that had been raised by a single mother on purpose.

A close friend had ended up helping Lydia out as she swore she would never marry as the one person she loved was dead. She did however, want to carry on the Branwell name so her friend helped her get pregnant but didn't have anything to do with the child. Lydia was an amazing mother and fought anyone who looked down on her for not having a husband or a partner to help raise her child or to have a male authority over him.

She argued that they did have the male authority they wanted her son to have. Alec and Magnus along with their kids were such a big part of her life, so whenever there was something that her son (John) wanted, that he couldn't speak to his mother about, he would go to them and they were more than happy to give him any advice or help he needed.

Marissa was so excited to see that we had all arrived safely and was more than happy to introduce us to the members of the Institute as we passed by them on our way to our new assigned rooms. It was a little awkward when I had to tell her that all of the stuff she had arranged to be put in a room to be shared by Isabelle and I would have to be moved as I was now with Raphael.

Lydia took it upon herself to thank her granddaughter and ask her as many questions as she could about John and her first grandchild Daniel, who was Marissa's father. They spent so much time talking and catching up, that by the time they were done, it was too late to start the briefing that Marissa was going to give us about something.

She decided that we should all get a good night's sleep before we pick it up again in the morning before directing us all to the rooms we would be staying in, a new room was made up for Raphael and I whilst Marissa and Lydia spoke.

That's where I found myself now. Sitting on the large king sized bed whilst I waited for Raphael to get out of the shower. He had been in there for a while and I was beginning to think that long showers were something he did when he was stressed.

Sure we had showers in the above but they weren't really needed. They were just there for familiarity and to keep up comfortable, but he never took long showers there because he had nothing to be stressed about.

I also had nothing to be worried or stressed over so it's taking some time to get used to the feeling again. I'm mainly worried about Raphael and what's going to happen to him around the Vampires when they realize he is alive, especially when he sees someone from our old clan. I don't know what their reactions are going to be, especially when they see that he is alive and no longer a vampire anymore, but he is, in fact, the enemy they are currently fighting against.

I know it's going to hurt when he see's the people he once considered family, turn against him over something as small as species. I'm actually afraid he might do something stupid in order to try and win their trust back. I know I shouldn't be thinking something like that, especially when it comes to my boyfriend but... I couldn't help but think of the possibility.

"...Baby?" a wet hand touches my cheek, making me snap back to reality.

I see that a dripping wet and half naked Raphael is standing in front of me, looking concerned.

I shake my head to break myself out of the spiral of horrible thoughts that my mind had gone down. It wasn't something we had to worry about tonight, it wouldn't be good for either Raphael or I, more so him than me. I didn't want him to be worried about me along with all the other things we had to be worried about currently.

"I'm fine," I say to him before taking his hand in mine to reassure him that I was okay. "I'm just tired, I think the last couple of days are getting to me," I say softly before an unexpected yawn backs up my point.

Raph smiles softly at me before gently kissing my head. I saver each kiss Raphael gives me because I know that it was hard for him at first, I know that this is something he wanted to give me and I would never pressure him to give me anything else. I didn't need that part of a relationship because I loved Raphael and if he didn't want to do that, then I wouldn't do it. I was surprised when he kissed me that day as it wasn't something I expected him to do.

It led to him being confused for a long time. He didn't know if the fact that he was okay with kissing me meant that he wasn't asexual. I felt horrible for him, thinking that it was my fault that he felt this way. After a couple of days, he figured out what was going on.

When he kissed me, it wasn't anything sexual. It was something he did to show that he loved me and wanted to show me this form of affection. Just because he kisses me, it doesn't mean that it has to be anything sexual. Such as if you kissed a friend on the cheek to show that they mean something to you or if you kissed a family member goodnight. It was just Raphael's way of showing me that he loved me and that meant more to me than anything along the lines of sex could.

"I can clearly see that, you keep disappearing on me." He strokes a hand down my cheek until his cupping my chin. "You would tell me if something was wrong... wouldn't you?" He asks softly and I suddenly feel bad for not telling him how worried I was.

I know it would be worse if I told him but I still feel bad for hiding it.

"Of course I would, but there's nothing wrong with me," I said before standing up and putting my hands on his cheek. "You shouldn't worry so much Raph," I say before pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was chaste, as were most of our kisses but they made up for the short time by always being sweet and loving.

"If I don't worry about you then the next thing I know you'll be getting kidnapped." He jokes with a smirk on his face.

I pout slightly before moving away to the wardrobe filled with clothes that we had been given. "That's not fair Raph, I haven't been taken in a long time," I say as I rifle through the clothes to find something for us to both sleep in.

"Not to me." He answers then I hear him walking up behind me, his arms coming around my waist a moment later, his head resting on my shoulder.

I pull out some items of clothes that I think will work before shrugging out of his grasp. "Even then I hadn't been taken in a while, now get dressed. I want to go to bed." I say before throwing his clothes to him, which he grabs with the same grace he always had as a vamp, perhaps it's just something he's always had.

"It was still a common enough thing, enough for me to still be worried about you." Raph pulls on the shirt I had given him. "Does it bother you that I worry?" He asks as he watches me walk towards the large bed. It always surprised me when I saw just how comfortable Shadowhunter's had it when it came to their bedrooms, considering how stiff and sterile everything else seemed to be. I remember seeing Clary's room and being surprised when it was warm, well lit with soft lamps, and covered with comfortable chairs and beds. I guess they had to make up for their behavior towards each other somehow.

"Of course not Raph, I know you worry because you love me, but if anyone has anything to worry about, it's me." I shuffle down under the blankets, almost pulling them right up over my head.

I had said too much about my worries. I didn't want Raphael to know that I was so worried about the vamps and how they were going to react to this news.

I wouldn't be surprised if they already knew what had happened. I knew that there were a couple of vamps present at the meeting they had when we first showed up, they were supposed to be trusted allies, but you could never know in a war. Any of those vamps could've let it slip that Raphael Santiago was back and he was now a Shadowhunter.

They could be planning something to do with him right now and we'd be none the wiser.

"I know what this is about now." Raphael's voice is close to me now. Pressure on the bed lets me know that he had finished getting dressed and he had now joined me on the bed. "Baby, don't worry about the vamps. I didn't mean that much to them anyway, they aren't going to bother with me when they have a full blown out war to worry about." Raph tries to sooth me but it does nothing to help.

I push myself up on the bed, ignoring the fact that Raph had just tried to pull me back into his arms.

"No Raphael, you know that is not true." I turn to look down at him. "There are so many of them that loved you as their sire, Lily for example. She is not going to sit back and ignore the fact that you are alive again and who knows what side of the war she is on! What if she decides that you shouldn't be a Shadowhunter and tries to change you again!" Raphael sits up at the end of my small rant, he could tell that a panic attack was clearly on the horizon.

"I don't want to lose you Raph- I can't lose you to the war! there is no way the Clave is going to let me keep in contact with you if someone from that side of the war changes you back, especially someone you used to be close too... I love you- I love you so much and I don't know what I'd do if-"

"Baby! shh, please calm down." I'm being pulled into his arms then. "How long have you been keeping all of this in?" Raphael asks after a moment.

I shrug. "Ever since I found out how bad this situation we've been thrown into is," I whisper into his neck.

Raph sighs. "Simon, you're supposed to tell me stuff like this. I don't want you to get yourself into a state like this." His hand strokes the back of my neck. "I love you too baby and I don't want to be worried that you are worrying yourself into a panic over me."

"I can't help it," I say. "I have lived without you before... heard how you died hundreds of times over the years. Lived with Rafael jr as he promised Magnus that he would live up to your name-" I let a couple of tears fall as I remember the time we all sat around on Christmas day whilst Magnus deemed Rafael old enough to know about his namesake.

I drank a little too much eggnog on that day.

"-I don't want that to happen again." I finish.

I feel Raphael shaking his head.

"You won't, do you honestly think Magnus and Alec's son wouldn't allow us to be together if I am changed? not that I will be because I know how to fight, Shadowhunter or Vamp, I know what I'm doing. And no one I knew from before would change me if I didn't want to be... they have that much respect left."

I yawn silently as I allow Raphael's words to comfort me slightly.

"Don't worry about this for tonight mi Amor, we are safe in these walls, no one will get to us tonight." Raphael pulls us back onto the bed, pulling the blankets over us and pulling me into his arms.

"Yeah- just for tonight," I whisper to myself as Raph reaches for the lamp. "I love you," I say to him before settling my head on his chest.

"I love you too Simon, and I'm no going to go anywhere tonight or ever, it's me and you for eternity." He promises as I close my eyes.

For eternity.

I'm going to hold him to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to point out that I am personally not Asexual and I don't want to offend anyone. I get that some people probably don't agree or feel the same about what I have written about, but I got my inspiration from a friend who is Asexual and feels like kissing someone doesn't necessarily have anything to do with any sort of sexual situations. She see's it as a sign of love towards someone. So I decided to use her views for Raphael when it comes to Simon. Again I am sorry if you don't agree, but everyone has their own opinions and ideas, so I would like to respect as many as I can in my stories. So please no hate when it comes to this, if you have any major problems with what I have written, please let me know calmly and I will respectively try to avoid offending anyone in the future. So please just let me know as it's hard to write about this kind of subject without offending someone and I would like to try and avoid it as much as possible. Thank You! x


End file.
